Early morning Musings.

I’ve been awake since about 4am. I can’t get comfortable or turn my brain off to sleep. It seems to be a recurring theme these days so I decided to finally get out of bed at a quarter after 5 and take a shower. That’s when I noticed my ankles –or rather, the ankle bone part of them not really sticking out the way it’s supposed to and that my toes look like Vienna Sausages. The edema has begun folks. I’m taking on water like the Titanic.

I have been very fortunate this pregnancy to be relatively healthy and able to get around and everything. But the last few weeks are the hard ones. When I mention some sort of ailment to Gabe, he says, “Remember this part when you want to do it again….”

And to clarify, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mean “do it.” I’m pretty sure he means “get pregnant.” I’ll have to remind him of that, later.

The holidays are fast approaching and some of the things running through my head while I lay awake include:

When is this baby coming? When should I order the turkey? What sides should I make and how much? Should we just order an entire meal from Giant Eagle? Maybe the baby will come so I don’t have to get food. What will we do with Simon? Will I make it to his Christmas Program on December 16th? What the hell should I get everyone for Christmas? When’s the soonest I can get Christmas decorations up without usurping Thanksgiving but still be able to move around? How much more weight am I going to gain? Maybe I shouldn’t get my hair cut again before the baby comes. Why can’t I commit to online shopping for gifts? I need to bring the carseats and pack and play upstairs. I need to hang up picture frames. First I need to print pictures to put in them. I don’t like not knowing what’s going on over Christmas and where we will be for how long. I feel like I don’t want to commit but I also want a plan.

Will my water break at work? At the gym? In the hospital? Are my stomach muscles ripping apart? Do we have to pay for both weeks of preschool that Simon’s on break? When am I getting the title and registration for our new car? Should I start drinking coffee again after the baby’s born? I wonder what he’ll look like. I wonder if his head will be as big as Simon’s. I wonder what he’ll wear at Christmas. I wonder what he’ll be like when he’s four.

This is about 68 seconds of thought. None of it is all that important I realize. Prior to thinking about these things it’s usually:

Ow ow ow, roll over. Roll over. Hold your stomach and roll over-whoa don’t forget the pillows. Wait, where’s the other one? Where’s the brown pillow? The brown one that was on our couch but fits perfectly to prop up my stomach? Where is it? Where is it? On the floor? No. On Gabe’s side? No. Dammit where is that pillow. Roll over the other way. Make do with the remaining (6) pillows. Impossible. Where is that damned pillow? Repeat. Finally Gabe wakes up and hands it to me. Apparently he was clutching it. “Sorry.” He says.

How long was he listening to me rustle around looking for that pillow?

Today is a half day and I’m doing something nice for myself. I may decide to make my family dinner, and I may not. We shall see. I definitely will take a nap.

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My evening, Thursday 7/16/09

  • Walk into (dark & locked) house at 9:34pm. Normally there is at least 1 light on and the door is unlocked. This is what Gabe does for me as a courtesy, even though he is ALWAYS in the basement when I come home, playing games.
  • Around 9:35pm, Gabe comes up from the basement, already in pajamas, obviously fighting the forces of evil in the basement. I am carrying bags from work. He helps me put them all down. He briefly shows me the cake his work gave him and talks about the potluck shower they had for him at work for about 6-7 minutes. Then he says, “I’m going to go finish something with Ryan downstairs.” I tell him, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Because I know he will be down there until after I am asleep. At this point I’m just irritated to all hell because the house was dark and locked, and Gabe’s been playing that GD game for 3 hours already.
  • I decide to go to bed. I take my laptop upstairs to watch the remaining 30 minutes of the movie I started the night before (by myself) called Saving Grace. It was cute. I’m all about British movies (really anything) right now because it reminds me of where I was 2 years ago. 2 years ago seems like a long time ago. I want to go back there. To that place AND that time.
  • So I watch the rest of my movie and then prop up my pillows to read the rest of yet another childbirth book, and go to sleep at around 10:45pm
  • First time I wake up- midnight, uncomfortable, go pee.
  • (I think Gabe came to bed somewhere around 1am. I wake up, but pretend not to because yes I am still pissed off at this video gaming BS.)
  • Third time I wake up- oh, that’s strange, I feel like I might throw up. Roll myself over and out of bed, waddle to bathroom, don’t puke. Pee again. Waddle downstairs to find antacids in purse. Waddle to kitchen and swallow them by drinking straight from the faucet in the kitchen. There are dirty dishes in the sink. I am awake now and consider just staying downstairs so I don’t have to climb the stairs again. I decide to just go back to bed anyways. Get to bed, lay down.
  • Now the baby is awake because of the cold water I just drank. Lay awake for 15 minutes while baby kicks ribs and has a little party in there. Contemplate the saying that everyone keeps telling me, “Oh it’s much easier when they’re in there, and not screaming on the outside..” It doesn’t seem as cute at 3am when you’re wide awake, nauseous, sore and exhausted.
  • Fourth time I wake up was at 6am, again nauseous, now I have no covers because Gabe has stolen ALL of them. I may kill him in his sleep. I contemplate throwing his computer into the street and running it over with my car.
  • By the time I get out of bed at 7:30am I feel like I haven’t slept at all. I tell myself to get used to it because this is the way it will feel once the baby gets here. I just wonder if I will still be as pissed off about it. I also wonder if Gabe will think it’s ok to play those games when the baby gets here. He says no—but I am REALLY interested to see how that all pans out.

In the meantime I’m up for planning some sort of war on Blizzard Entertainment. I can’t find the individual responsible for World of Warcraft so I may just have to take-down the entire company. Who’s with me?

Birthing ball & sleep positions.

So I used to own a “birthing ball”– only then I called it an Ab-ball. I never used it. Seriously- I was terrified of those things. I never managed to stay on it properly to do ab exercises. Eventually it was given to Goodwill.

I’ve been reading a lot – trying to figure out how to get this baby to drop so he’s on-time-ish instead of late. I don’t know if you gathered as much but I’m getting kind of tired of being pregnant and I’d like to meet the little guy already! (Having 10 weeks off work is a little enticing as well…) So anyways, I went to Target and bought (another) birthing ball that is pretty much just an Ab-ball, only I’m using it for a different purpose. And that purpose is to get this baby to “drop it like it’s hot” down into my pelvis and let me have a few weeks of good weather in Ohio without being pregnant. Here are some of the exercises recommended for pregnancy and whatnot with a “birthing” (exercise) ball. So I’ve been rocking back and forth, front to back. and doing these weird hip-circle things in order to “open up” and let the baby drop. I also kind of look like a snowman when I sit on it.

I also brought yet another pillow into the bed, due to the fact that now when I wake up on my back in the middle of the night I also wake up in PAIN on my back. In fact, whatever position I’m laying in, I wake up in pain. If I’m on my back, my back hurts, if I’m on my hip, my hip hurts. This tells me that it’s just my largeness that’s hurting me, period. However…I always START OFF trying to fall asleep on my side. So I told Gabe that I needed to bring in the other body pillow (the incredibly thick/stiff one we originally bought) and put it behind me so I don’t end up on my back in the middle of the night. I tried it last night and it worked– though every time I woke up I thought to myself, “This is like those sleep positioner things they make babies lay in so they don’t end up barfing on themselves.” Which, now that I think about it- maybe I should make adult-sized sleep positioners like this for drunks…hmmm I might be onto something there.

So anyways. I lost my cell phone sometime between last night and this morning so I couldn’t sleep on my lunch hour in my car so I am here at work biding time at my desk. I also went to starbucks and got an Iced Tea, and am hoping it keeps me awake for the rest of the day. I’m supposed to hang with my friend Carie tonight so I hope I’m wide awake come 6:30!!!