Schedules…

Workweek. What do you mean work week? My work is a scatter of days in rows with tiny blurbs of time off in between long long hours of work. Or so it seems right now. Since August 9th I have had August 13th, 20th and 22nd off work. Granted, I had the second half of the first week of August off, followed by a weekend, so I shouldn’t complain. OR you can just IMAGINE the complaining that would be taking place had I NOT taken that time off. Take your pickMy next day off is this Friday August 27th and then the next day I have off after that is SEPTEMBER 4th and 5th AND 6th! OMG what will I do with all that time in a row to not work?!?!?!

Anyways, on the days that I work it can go many different ways at home. The first part of the week I work 12p-9p, then the second half of the week I work normal-people hours: 9a-6p. If I try to explain anything further re: my schedule, you will not listen or understand so I’m not going to bother. I barely understand it and it’s already been simplified since moving to a new library system. Basically, I work when everyone else doesn’t have to, and sometimes vice versa.

So our “schedule” (and I use that word LOOSELY) is something like this:

On 12-9 days:

  • Anywhere from 6:45-8am Simon wakes up (usually around 7am)
  • I get up, turn on coffee, make him a bottle, unroll cot, put in Baby Signing time, we sip our coffee and bottle together in blissful morning-ness.  (Simon is just now realizing the absence of clothing on Gabe and me at times, pointing at my legs if I don’t have pants on…so I try to put on pants.)
  • About 20-30 minutes after he wakes up, I feed him something for breakfast- usually yogurt and cereal or fruit.
  • Then we play until anywhere between 9:15-10:00, which is when I start suggesting NAP TIME PLEASE, because I need to clean up the house and get ready for work, shower, etc.
  • Depending on how napping attempts go, he usually sleeps until 11:00am and I get most stuff done while he sleeps.
  • Morning naps are typically much easier to get Simon to take than afternoon naps for some reason. LOVE THE MORNING NAP.
  • At 11:00 if he’s not up, I’m waking him quietly, opening the curtains and prodding his cute butt to wake up, change a diaper, put on clothes, bribing with cheesy goldfish as I put on his shoes, pack up his lunch, my stuff, the car, and drive to the sitter.
  • 11:20ish in the car to the sitter.
  • 11:24 arrive at sitters’ house, talk to her for a bit
  • 11:45 (at the latest) leave sitters’ house, go to work.
  • 12:00 arrive @ work.

You may have noticed that the first part of the morning goes nice and slow, hanging out, etc. until around 11:00 and then it’s kinda RUSH MODE. If anything happens to throw us off after 11:00am, it could most certainly make for a troubled beginning to a long, Long LONG day.

Yesterday, at 11:00am when I went to wake up my sweet beautiful baby boy, I noticed an odor. Then I noticed a stain, or two or three, and some brown stuff on the chubby boy’s sleeping legs. It was a poop catastrophe that could only be fixed with full immersion bath tub washing. Of course I’m all ready for work in a WHITE shirt and GREEN skirt, and I am trying to carrying him at arm’s length from the changing table, to the bathroom, all the while as he stares at me smiling and wondering, WTH is your problem, momma?!

I stood him next to the bathtub as I drew a bath: 11:10am. I scrubbed the backs of his legs and his cute little butt crack as I hear a tinkling sound of water hitting the floor. I momentarily glance to see if something’s leaking around the tub and something is….that something being my son taking a giant leak, standing up, soaking the bathroom rug that I’m sitting on, and leaving a nice puddle on the bathroom floor. “No no no no no no no no no!!!” I cry– and he just kind of smiles at me like, “Hey, this feels good, this whole peeing standing up thing, with no diaper on…”

After he’s finished I get him in the tub and scrubbed down. Out of the tub and dressed by 11:15 (TELL ME YOU ARE IMPRESSED. YOU ARE, AREN’T YOU?!). Downstairs for cheesey goldfish and packing up. Strip sheets and toss dirty poopy blankies in the wash. Send an SOS “Please change the laundry loads at lunchtime” text to Gabe and we’re out the door by 11:24 and I leave the sitter’s at my customary time and I glance down and realize there are wet spots on my skirt. I have no idea if it is pee or bathwater. Febreeze.

Moral of this story? Be prepared? Sure I guess.

But I was thinking more like: always carry Febreeze in your car, or “try to remember these crazy moments” or Laugh it off….

I guess it’s just funny to think of all the times I rushed off to work all frazzled and crazy…2-3 minutes late eating away at my stomach as I sped along the highway. It seems like the smallest things could set off my morning then and ruin a whole day.

But yesterday morning didn’t RUIN my day, it just made it “memorable” I’ll say, and it made me wish I didn’t have to rush Simon up from a nap and out the door. It made me laugh.

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