Running errands on my day off literally feels like I went running. Panting, sweating, thighs rubbing together, huffing, puffing, bringing groceries in, turning on the A/C even though our Electric bill was ATROCIOUS, using all of my might to close windows- and being exhausted afterwards. I hate feeling this weak and out-of-shape.

I find myself wondering, “how much longer before I start to feel normal?” I mean, of course after the baby’s born…I realize nothing will be “normal” again but when will I be able to do lunges? When will I be able to feel like I REALLY have to pee- and then I will ACTUALLY pee as much as I anticipated. I have no idea. If I’m nursing (which I plan to) will all the fat in my thighs be turned into buttermilk and move to my boobs so the baby can suck it out– like healthy lipo? I know that’s wishful thinking but man it’d be nice. 

So here I am in my purple dress that G hates:

34 weeks and 5 days.
34 weeks and 5 days.

And the baby’s room is mostly done. It’s so strange to see it- be a room that’s entirely for a baby, a person who isn’t here yet. Before, when I had the ironing board/iron in it and my maternity clothes– it was just a dressing room of sorts for me. It was my dressing room that just happened to have some baby furniture in it. Now it’s a 100%  baby room full of pacifiers, baby bath stuff, diapers, wipes, everything we need really. It’s crazy. I really like the way it turned out given that we really didn’t buy much of anything. We were so lucky to have inherited the crib and the dresser/changing table. I would say that we’ve probably spent $200 total on the whole thing- that includes paint, vinyl stickers, tiny bookshelf, humidifier and a 5×7 shag rug. Everything else was either given to us or we are using things we already had. I think it looks pretty good– I hate it when things are too matchy-matchy. We moved G’s Grandma’s rocker up there and I put a blanket on it to add some “flair”.  We also purchased a little bookshelf to shove all of Thumbkin’s books into and also place the lamp on. Our weird (old) apt. has strange electrical outlet placement so we HAD to put the lamp in that spot. I think I like it. Now, when I get a little tired as I’m getting ready for work in the mornings, I’ll just sit down here in the chair and imagine what it’s going to be like when he gets here.

rockin' chair and bookshelf
rockin' chair and bookshelf

As you can see, he’s accumulating quite a bit of toys for his shelves. We love the stuffed animals and sometimes G and I go in there and resist the urge to bring them back into our room. Yes, we’re 30 and 31 years old.

Possibly the most crowded room in the apt.
Possibly the most crowded room in the apt.

So what’s on tap tonight? Ummmm we’re grilling out (G is anyways) and I will probably watch a movie while G plays videogames some more. Woo hoo! Friday nights…awesome.



So. Today was a day of slight panic- one where I start looking at the calendar to make “plans” at work- I have to have some things done by July 1st and there are other things that are happening in September and this is all very normal to be looking ahead or down-the-pike sotospeak but holy $hit I looked at my calendar in September and started writing things down and realized…Um….

I’m going to have a baby by then. Like, my own baby. The baby that keeps stretching out my stomach and attempting to get comfortable…that baby is going to come out of me. And really- by September he should be here. And that is almost enough to send me into a full-on anxiety attack.

My first reaction to that is, “Ohmygod we’re not ready for this.” and “I didn’t think this through.” which turns into “How exactly does he plan on getting out of there? Particularly if he continues to grow each week until mid-august?!?!” and finally to  “I will never sleep again.”

So I try to switch over my panic into:

“Let’s make a list of all the things that need to be done before the baby gets here.” or “Concentrate on getting the ironing board and your maternity clothes out of the nursery and find a place to put all the diapers…” you know, stuff like that. It’s still neurotic. I’m still panicky, but at least I’m not focused on the stuff I can’t control- it’s stuff I can control… and I do better with that.

To top this freaked out feeling off, Gov. Strickland announced on Friday that he’s proposing enormous cuts to the Ohio Public Library Fund, and that elimination of other state jobs is inevitable. This is bad news for these new parents: Ohio public librarian (moi) and State of Ohio employee (G). G has told me over and over that he’s an essential employee there- which I hope is true- but I can’t help but get nervous when we rely on what teensy tiny incomes we make off of our public service jobs.  Let’s hope that it doesn’t come to that…

here’s another peek

at the baby’s room.

cloud decals and rug

You can see the cloud decals on the wall now- and his little shelf is getting full of toys and whatnot. We’re probably going to have to find a new place for books since I haven’t even bought the books I want to buy him yet and already we’re running out of room. we’re looking into other options for book-shelving, but in the meantime we’re in love with the monkey book-ends so they’ll stay on top of the shelving unit for now. Ever since I put the clouds up and got the rug in there, I like the room more and more. The quilt hanging over the crib also makes it seem more “homey” I think. I’m not a big ‘matchy-match’ person so I’m all about the character of this room. Who says jungle and farm animals can’t get along?!

This morning it’s been raining all morning and it’s been unusually quiet outside. We’ve still not turned on the A/C so the windows were open when I woke up today and I could hear the rain dripping onto the leaves and the roof outside of the window. It was incredibly peaceful and quiet. I keep holding onto those moments and kind of staring wistfully as I soak in the quiet, because I realize that pretty soon the quiet will be gone. I know that it will be replaced with a noise that starts out anxiety ridden and jarring, but will eventually ease into a joyous kind of song in the background. I’ve just become incredibly aware of how quiet I keep things when I”m by myself- no television, no radio, just the sounds of the house, maybe a fan and whatever sounds are outside the open windows.

An update

So, for three days in a row this week, we (meaning G and I) have gone on night-time walks around our neighborhood. I think this is a good habit to get into, seeing as I was “warned” about my dessert problem by my doctor last time I saw him. Basically he suggested I have dessert only once per week instead of once a day. (I found this suggestion ridiculous- as I had/have a hard time limiting dessert to once a DAY.)

Over the past week or so my appetite is less all-consuming (ba-dum-dum-dum). Plus the indigestion I get after eating ANYTHING is hardly worth the big meals so I’ve been eating smaller bits throughout the day and increasing my fruit and healthy food intake. Adding walking to the mix I thought would help the whole pregnancy schtick even more. But I’ve been getting whacked by the fatigue thing again. I had a few days where I felt like I could sleep FOR DAYS. And getting out of bed in the morning is tough.  So I guess this is normal as my second trimester winds down and my body gets bigger and harder to haul around each day.  I’m also waking up in the morning with the almost-having-leg-cramps-feeling. Isn’t that bizarre? Why is it that sometimes you get that warning feeling that your calves are about to cramp up, and then other times, you don’t? I don’t understand it. I’ve been eating bananas and taking vitamins and YES drinking water (though I probably could drink more) so hopefully that will help with the near-cramping. I HATE leg cramps!

Only half of my belly button has popped out, and I wonder if mine is defective due to its depth. It looks more like a Precious Moments nose than a popped out belly button.  (Do people still buy those? I was all hopped up on Precious Moments back in 5th grade or so.)

Yesterday I finally broke down and purchased cloud wall decals to put up in the baby room (Similar to these). I got them on Etsy- my first Etsy purchase ever, though I frequent the website a lot and often LOVE the things I see- I hope this first purchase leads to more and more additional purchases from the site in the future, as I love handmade things and it seems quite affordable.   I’m also thinking about making a mobile type thing to hang from the hideous light fixture in his room- out of a wooden embroidery hoop and other things. We’ll see if I get around to that.

Thumbkin has days where he seems to want to do the running-man for 10 hours straight, and then he has days when I just feel him toss and turn and try to get comfortable. It’s interesting. Mostly I can tell that when I lay down to watch a show on DVD or something (or right at bed time) he’ll start the kind of kicking that is visible on my skin and startles me enough to jump or make a remark out loud.

Oh I updated some links in the sidebar to the right. I added all of the “mommyblogs” I read religiously as well as the the mommyblogs of the people I know IN REAL LIFE! They’re interesting, adorable people who don’t cuss like I do (in public).

I spent about 2 hours yesterday morning on Youtube watching labor and delivery videos and also looking at pictures of other people that are as pregnant as me. I like to compare and see where I stand. Where DO I stand? No idea really. I have some sort of crazy body dysmorphia so I can’t really properly guess. But it gave me something to do yesterday. Today I”m going to try to walk before work- which would make it FOUR days this week I’ve gone on a walk. Then tomorrow I”m off work and I am dog-sitting my lovable nephew Gunner for the weekend, so we’ll be doing EVEN MORE WALKING together throughout the weekend. And…that’s all she has planned, folks. Originally we were thinking about going up to Salem but my mom’s headed down to Hilton Head again and Brett and Kristen won’t be around and Eric will probably have to work and Kim will probably be in Pennsylvania and Dad will probably be busy– so I’m just staying home. Gabe might still head up to help his parents clean out their house WHICH THEY SOLD (can you believe it?! in this economy!?) so I plan on having a date-day/night with the dog.

If anyone stays in town, call me!

Swear words

There are some serious swear words echoing throughout our apartment, and this time it’s NOT ME. G and I decided to do some smallish projects that we started this weekend. Very small, do-able projects like: taking the cabinet doors off of the vanity in the bathroom, sanding, staining and replacing the hardware on them because they previously were disgusting. By disgusting I mean, they were old, not sealed, kind of peeling in places, etc. G offered to do this project. “Great idea!” I exclaimed- because I had a friend coming in from out of town who also wanted to do some DIY stuff around the house. Awesome.

Around 9am on Saturday I think it was, I decided I wanted to paint one wall of the baby’s room blue. The bedding and pattern of the nursery set I have been given is tan and green. It is impossible to match the green. But as I mentioned in a previous post, the room made me nervous upon entering it. It felt cramped and it definitely needed something. Over the weekend I decided that “thing” was pastel blue paint to match the elephant in the nursery bedding. So we painted it blue. I’m happy with the blue wall. I may post pictures soon. Maybe.

But we keep running into smallish obstacles while doing projects. These are the things that make G cuss loudly: finding out that the wall we’re hammering into is made of three separate substances, such as sheet metal, plaster and brick. OR- you find out that the holes in the cabinets for the bathroom vanity are 2 inches apart instead of 3 inches apart, which is the standard size for all pulls one may want to replace.

All of this will lead to multiple trips to Home Depot and Lowe’s (often in the same day) for different kinds of screws, nails, hardware seeking attempts, and finally silver metal spray paint so we can just spruce up the old hardware and put it back on the damned vanity already because WE RENT, WHY ARE WE EVEN TRYING!?!?!?!?!?!

But anyways, I mentioned G got me the sweet flowers and card (that nearly made me cry) for Mother’s Day. And I had numerous well wishes and cards from family and friends, and more cds from my sister (you rock) and an awesome gift of ginger-scented body lotion and bath soaps from my friend Mandy. I felt special, but it’s hard to feel like a mom when your kid is swimming in your gut instead of sitting on your lap.

And this weekend said friend Mandy came from Chicago to visit me and we had an awesome weekend of food, visiting and shopping around- even though I didn’t buy much it was still just nice to have a friend to go do things with. She helped me paint the wall in the nursery, and cooked us both breakfast and dinner. Then my brother Brett came to visit on Sunday with his dog Gunner- and enjoyed the delicious meal that Mandy made (ribs in the crock pot with mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and green beans, fresh strawberries and blackberries) and chatted for a while.

It was a good weekend and I was glad to enjoy it with such a great friend who’s known me forever. After all of that – the great meals she cooked, and the awesome Mother’s Day gift she gave me, today when I came home from work there was yet ANOTHER gift from Mandy in a package on my front porch: a house-warming gift. It is really really cool- a magnetic spice rack that hangs on the wall. G and I both love it! Now, Mandy- if you’re reading this STOP BUYING THINGS NOW! 🙂 I can’t keep up with the thank-you notes!

I hope everyone reading this had a good weekend as well and I hope for all of our sakes that there are more leisurely spring weekends ahead as the weather continues to get nicer in Ohio.

Incredibly cool hanging spice rack
Incredibly cool hanging spice rack
work in progress...
work in progress...
sleeping lambs
sleeping lambs

Productive Monday

We got the crib put together- and mostly assembled Thumbkin’s room- though I’m still not satisfied with it so I’m not posting pics on here quite yet.  I have to admit that I only had fleeting moments where I imagined what-the-nursery-will-look-like…and those quickly passed. Mostly I stopped thinking about it because: all of that shit is insanely expensive; I don’t really want to have to re-paint the walls when we leave here; I would much prefer hand-me-down stuff to decorate a nursery and perhaps get myself a new bedspread down the road. Don’t look at me like that, the baby will not remember his nursery. AND- I lucked out and got a ton of adorable hand-me-down stuff. So it all is put together and cute and whatnot. It’s just a little…shall we say….cramped.

We put Thumbkin in the tiniest room because, in all fairness, he will be the tiniest person in the house. We made the second room into a guest room. We are both hoping that we can keep Thumbkin in that room for as long as possible- because neither of us are quite sure if we’ll ever be able to afford a house or anything bigger than this place. So- there you have it: I have a tiny little room with a lot of furniture and cute safari/jungle themed-bedding and stuff. I don’t have the walls painted and I’m not going to. And I don’t think I’m going to put his name in letters on the wall behind the crib because we’re still not settled completely on what his name will be and that’s that.

Anyways. I just keep walking into this room and I try to think of what would make it more calming/peaceful/etc. I’m not sure yet. Picture placement perhaps? I don’t know. Once I get it figured out I’ll take a picture or two and post it on here. Just don’t go thinking that I”m some sort of crazy design freak who gets all into this kind of thing. My son will have a cute looking, completely livable space to nap in and whatnot for the next few years. It just probably won’t look any fancier than my bedroom.

Once we were finished with the crib, I had G put up the tie-backs for our curtains in the living room- or what we affectionately now call the “parlor”. When people come over we end up sitting in this room for some reason and I love it. I told G to pose for me- because I think these chairs in front of the bookcase and fireplace are reminiscent of Masterpiece Theatre. I asked him to grab a book and he picked one from his own collection: The End of the World News by Anthony Burgess.



crib attempt take 1

Well, I knew this was going to be harder than G claimed it would be. But even after putting it together and taking it apart several times and watching his technique– I’m completely clueless as to how this crib fits together. I’ve also searched online for instructions– to no avail. (Of course the disadvantage to hand-me-down-stuff is not having directions most of the time.) I’m not worried. As G mentioned himself, aside from my brothers, he IS the handiest/craftiest man in my life so eventually we’ll figure it out. And it’s not like we’re running out of time or anything. We can always borrow someone else’s pet or baby and put it in there and see how long it stays together before it falls apart due to some sort of mistake in putting it together. hahahaha.

So the good news: we have a crib, dresser and changing table. We’ve also acquired a ton of adorable clothing and other things that I should probably take off of the registry now that we have hand-me-down versions of them. Crap I need to do that asap.

The bad news: the crib may take a good year to completely put together.

Hmmmmm….maybe I should start researching co-sleeping.img_3636