Today was my first Mothers’ Day with my “thumbkin” on the outside of me instead of the inside.
Simon woke up around 7am, per usual. I convinced him to stay in our bed for MAYBE 15 minutes before finally dragging myself downstairs to get the coffee going. Sitting in front of Ol’ Faithful (coffee maker) was a pretty potted flower, two cards (one from Gabe, one from Simon) and a package of chocolate covered pretzels (my favorite). It was quite sweet.
Simon then had a bottle and his breakfast (Cheerios and bananas). And then Gabe made me pancakes and bacon (mmmmm bacon) before I headed off to work.
And I’m going to refrain from grumbling about having to work on Mothers’ Day because I imagine many many mothers in the world work on this pseudo holiday. It was cold out anyways, so I wouldn’t have done much of anything if I were working so blah, whatever.
I came home, we made a lasagna and garlic bread, and then Gabe went on a DQ run to get me a Snickers blizzard. Mmmmmm tasty treat. I’d been craving a blizzard for several days now. He also did the laundry. 🙂
But perhaps my favorite “present” of all this year were the pictures that my Aunt Vicki sent me from our most recent visit with my Pap.
Simon loved my grandpa’s mustache and was playing with it in these pictures.
It’s hard to say what being a mom feels like. Mostly I’d say that it’s not at all what I expected. Sometimes I don’t feel like “a mom” at all- but I know that I am, and I love my son more than life. But it’s strange. Sometimes I don’t feel “old enough” to be a mom. And other times I feel like I’m the same as I’ve always been- like I’m just a REALLY big sister. I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is that I used to say, “Being a mom will be the best thing I ever do…” and I meant that in the way that I would try the hardest at that job. I meant that I would work the hardest to be a good mom, a fun mom, and most importantly, the kind of mom that my own mom was in the way that I reassure my kid that I love them. My kids would always know I love them. And I think I’m doing that so far.
I do know that being a mom also means I am on the receiving end of the biggest “fits”, the crankiest hours, the loudest shrieks and the angriest baby looks. I don’t take offense, I know that boy “has my number” and works it accordingly. It’s his job to do that, to test that. Being a mom is as hard, harder, and not as hard, as I thought it would be…all at once. What’s most surprising to me is how splendidly natural it all seems to come. I hope that means I’m doing alright. At least I know I’m doing my best- that’s all a person can do.
Here’s to all the wonderful moms and not-moms, and all people in this world who care enough about other people in their lives that it aches a little bit when you love them that hard. Happy happy day to us all.
And I’m ending mine with some wine. 🙂 Cheers!