Holy $hit it’s October.

Which means a lot of things:

I have a two month old. TWO MONTHS have gone by since I had this baby?! It’s so weird what babies do to time. They generally are an enormous timesuck- I swear I just woke up and all of the sudden it’s noon and whoa I’m still in pajamas and yes I’ve done about a million things already and all while the baby peacefully sleeps in his swing…the damned swing of neglect.

I go back to work soon- assuming I have settled on childcare– which I haven’t really. I’m waiting to hear back from a family friend about Wed. and Thurs. I am almost certain we have someone for Tuesdays and Fridays. I still have no idea how this whole- getting out of the house/ready for work/to the sitter/to work on time is ever going to work out. And I have approximately 12 days to figure it out. 12 days seemed like an eternity when I was pregnant. I know it will fly by now though- because the last 8 weeks have definitely flown.

Which by the way- with October in Ohio means winterish weather which BLOWS- for a number of reasons- I’m cold (number one reason). Also almost every outfit we own for the baby is a summer outfit. We do have lots of hand me downs from Aunt Gretchen but ….oh wait- they live in SOUTH CAROLINA. Don’t really have a lot of fleecy winter-y outfits in those boxes. So I’ve been using a lot of blankets to bundle him up when we go outside…and somedays he just wears pajamas all day. Better do it while you can, kiddo.

We had the appointment with the Endocrinologist at Children’s hospital yesterday. Let me tell you, I would like to purchase a plastic bubble in which to roll ourselves in and out of that place. I mean. you think daycares are bad- I can’t even fathom the germs floating around that hospital. My hands are cracking from how many times I washed them and used hand sanitizer yesterday.. in the 2.5 hours we were there. Simon was an awesome baby in the hospital (as always). He only cries when we leave the doctor it seems. With the exception of a half hour, he was awake and lovely the entire time- smiling and staring at the room. I think it’s because he loves being naked and I just kept him that way after they weighed him.

My little turkey weighs 12 pounds 10 ounces and is 23 inches long. Almost 13 pounds?! That explains the dull pain in the back of my neck.

The endocrinologist doesn’t think there is anything to be worried about and actually wants to do ONE MORE BLOOD DRAW (dammit) and check for antibodies. Because if there are antibodies attacking his thyroid, they’re likely from me and we don’t have anything to worry about except perhaps about my thyroid..which we’ll figure out after we get him all squared away. I’m waiting to get his blood drawn for when Gabe can go with me- because last time I almost passed out. I do not like them poking around in my baby’s arm for a vein, sorry folks it’s enough to make me throw up and pass out all at once. Simon has yet to really act like it bothers him when they take his blood. He has another thing coming next time we go to the doctor though- because we have the vaccinations…Yuck. Not looking forward to this business. And since when did kids get a chicken pox vaccine? There are so many vaccines now it just seems like a lot for a tiny baby to have to handle. Why don’t they wait longer before they give them? And seriously- chicken pox? I mean that won’t kill you. I don’t think autism is caused by vaccines but I do wonder about slamming a kid with all of these things at once when he’s only been around for 8-10 weeks. I mean, I felt guilty if I took a tylenol while pregnant and now we’re loading him up with deadened viruses and just cross your fingers he doesn’t have some sort of reaction to it?! Nuts. I just wish we could wait longer before he had to deal with it. So he could TELL me if he thinks he’s coming down with a mild case of Measles. Instead I’ll just watch him really closely and “only call if he cries for more than THREE HOURS STRAIGHT”?? Are you serious people!? That’s what the paperwork says!

Anyways that’s the next appointment. Likely Simon’s thyroid is fine and the dr thought he looked really healthy and good. I had to agree.  See here:

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And now my monthly letter to the boy:

Dear Simon (AKA Stink, Lil’ Sleeper, My Turkey, Sy)

You’re 8 weeks old now. 8 Weeks! Two months! Time has flown by but at the same time I feel like you’ve always been here. It’s a strange and surreal feeling. Happy birthday little buddy.

You are getting to be so much more fun now that you’re waking up a bit. I mean, really kid you get more adorable every day and I’m constantly amazed by your cuteness.

In the past month. we’ve eliminated one night time feeding. which means I only (usually) have to get up at 5am now. I am planning to eventually squeeze a workout in at this time but so far I haven’t been able to do anything but feed you and rock you, then put you back to bed. Of course, we’ve slightly increased the amount of milk you’re eating with each meal so now at night when you eat you start to doze off at the end of a bottle, and you get all adorable and floppy when I try to burp you afterwards. Then you bury your head into the crook of my elbow and make your little “oh” face after spitting out your Nuk. Then I rock you and whisper things in your ear while you breathe milk breath in my face.

We’ve gotten ourselves into a bad habit though- at around 6am you start to stir and I pick you up and put you in bed with us- on my chest. I know this is a bad idea for a million reasons but waking up with you face to face is just about the most amazing thing ever. Your little eyes light up when you look up at me and I look at you and we yawn and we stretch together and have our morning time- that sadly no one else gets to see because I’m convinced you are at your best in the morning. We sing and dance around the upstairs while I make the beds and get you ready. Your favorite songs are: Bushel and a Peck, The Good Morning Song. BINGO (sung with your name SIMON instead) and We’re On our Way to Grandpa’s Farm.

At night we have made a routine already- Bath, Bottle & Bed- and you still love the bathtub. You really are starting to kick in there and splash around which is hilarious to watch. I cheer you on and try to get you wore out so you pass out cold after the bottle. You seem to really like your sleep though so it’s not been a huge problem yet. You fall asleep easily in your room to the sounds of the rainforest toy in your crib, or the Beatles CD by your bed.

Though last night, I put you in adorable Halloween pjs, rocked you a bit and laid you down to sleep. Then I went downstairs  to watch a movie with your dad. I typically go to bed around 10:30 or 11 and your dad gives you a bottle between 1 and 2am. I usually don’t wake up when that happens, and he brings you into our room. But last night at 1:30am I woke up to hear your ANGRY SCREAM down the hall. I figured your dad had it under control- probably gas or something but you wouldn’t let up after a few minutes so I came down to your room to find you naked, and your dad looked at me and said- “big blow-out.” You were a total mess. Poor thing- it was almost like you knew and were embarrassed. We cleaned you up and calmed you down and you went back to bed by 2am, though you would have much preferred to stay naked I think. You love being naked.  It’s just too cold right now though- if you still like it in the spring and summer we’ll let you be naked again, promise.

In the last month we’ve also watched the beginning of Buckeye Football here and you are the perfect addition to Saturday afternoon football games on television. You have more gear than me and it’s fun to dress you up in new OSU outfits. You’re definitely the cutest little Buckeye I’ve ever seen. Uncle Brett and Aunt Kristen came up to watch the game and you seemed to enjoy their visit. After the game we got to go to a party and they watched you for the evening.  Aunt Kristen read you books and rocked you to sleep in your room.

Gunner, Uncle Brett and Simon

Gunner, Uncle Brett and Simon

Over the past month we’ve dealt with baby acne and you scratching the hell out of your face when you get angry. Your dad and I finally figured out that you needed the baby equivalent of a stress-ball to squeeze with your tiny hands when you get angry. After trying several different things, you have grabbed onto this giraffe from your Aunt Gretchen. and you will not let go. We have several other types of blankie-objects like this but this is the only one you will knead in your hands and hold onto. I’m thinking we may have to invest in a few more of these just in case this one falls apart or gets lost somewhere:

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We’ve had several visits from your grandparents on both sides, and I’m looking forward to a Date-Night with your dad tomorrow night when Nonni and Papa come up again to watch you. I can’t decide where we’re going to go but I’m excited that they enjoy hanging out with you so much. Your other Grandma and Grandpa came up to the football game too and enjoyed visiting for a bit. Grandma and I went shopping one day and took you along and you were so good! The stroller definitely puts you to sleep.

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My maternity leave is coming to a close and we’re having a hell of a time trying to find someone suitable to watch you during the week while we’re at work. Neither of us are thrilled with the prospect of leaving you with anyone but family but we’re trying our hardest to find someone that will love you. Right now your dad comes home from work during lunch to visit you and it’ll be hard for him when he can’t do that because you’re at the sitter’s.

dad home on lunch

dad home on lunch

I’m so proud of you already and you’re only 8 weeks old- I mean let’s be honest, there’s not a whole lot you’ve accomplished as of yet but still- I’m so proud. You’re adorable and easy going for the most part and you’re starting to want to be awake more often and that’s so fun. You’ve just started making new sounds and I’m starting to be able to recognize which ones are whiny cries and which ones are feed-me/change-me/burp-me cries.

I love getting to know you and to me you are the very best baby a person could ask for. Happy 2 month birthday buddy. I love you more than you know.

XO

Mom

Raindrops on roses…

I am halfway through a glass of wine and it’s midnight. I should go to bed but I’m not going to yet. I’m in a mood…a good mood, a wine-mood. And as such I wanted to blog some of my favorite things.

Watching any member of my family interact with Simon. It’s so neat to see how they look at him, talk to him and laugh at the silly things he does. Today my brother Brett came over for a short visit and it was so neat to watch him hold Simon. Also my mom was here overnight and she was so helpful and awesome with the baby. I wish so much that they (mom and dad) lived closer so we could hang out more often. Thankfully they got tickets to the upcoming game this weekend so both mom and dad will be in town again soon.

Drinking wine…with my mom, or after I put the boy to bed. It is my unwinding time, and it’s funny but I feel most like a “mom” after I put Simon down…because I feel like I have a few hours to relax and get things done. I always wondered as a kid why parents seemed so eager to get us to bed. Now I know why.

The bedtime “routine” we’re doing. It includes bath, a bottle and bed.  I put on the Bedtime with the Beatles CD or another CD with great music on it and we make the mood in the room all chillaxed-out and I rock the baby to sleep. I can tell that he’s picking up on the routine of it all and he likes it. Mind you, he is an incredibly smart 7 week old.

Our ocean sounds machine from Target. We had to retire Sleep Sheep because he broke (boooo). We loved Sleep Sheep so. That’s a whole other story. (I wrote them a letter!)  But we replaced him with a sound machine that plugs in (have I mentioned how many batteries I’ve bought since becoming a parent!?) to the wall and plays the sound of the ocean all night long. We.Love.It.

Not working. Enough said. Actually I shouldn’t say that. I wouldn’t mind going back to work either part time- OR full time if I had someone related to me to watch the baby AND if I had regular hours.

When Gabe comes home from work. He comes home on his lunch hour if we’re here and when he comes home period. It’s adorable to watch Simon react to Gabe’s voice and presence. And it’s just nice to have my partner here to help me out.

Simon’s attempts at crawling up me and out the window behind me. I’ll put the video below, but it doesn’t even really capture how hilarious it is to watch him try to climb up and over me. He loves the windows in our living room. I think it’s the contrast of the dark wood and the white blinds, along with our bright red curtains, he stares and stares at the windows. When I hold him on my chest, he tries to climb toward the window and it’s adorable.

Walking. My mom and I took the baby on a fast paced walk up the BIG hill to Panera today for breakfast. I got the stroller together all by myself. I feel like this is something I could do on my own now, and I plan to tomorrow- weather permitting.

My new Swiffer Wet Jet. It leaves the floor smelling clean and fresh.

The fact that the Buckeye game should be on our tv this weekend. Yahoo!

This face:

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And this one:

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Did I mention the wine?

Here’s the promised video:


quickly quickly

I want to write a couple of things before the baby wakes up and I have to do them QUICKLY. Because I have to do everything quickly while the baby is sleeping…like laundry and making beds and cleaning up messes I made this morning and making coffee to brew for GODONLYKNOWSWHEN tomorrow morning and mopping and straightening because company is coming…and more. And the entire time I have one ear to the front room listening for his stirring…

Because I put him in the swing. And I feel like a total neglectful parent when I put him in the swing. I might as well put him in some sort of sleep chamber. I swear as soon as I place his butt in the seat his eyes get heavy. I know it will immediately make him pass out so if I need a few moments to get things done—> swing. And I hate myself for it.

I DO however entertain the little man when I have stuff to do that I can tote him around with me…like putting away laundry or ironing or things of that nature. And we sing. And we play and we dance. I make sure I interact with him. I borrowed a bunch of books from the library about how to make your baby’s brain work better…I do all that stuff. But still- I put him in that swing to get him to sleep when I need to. Maybe that makes me a bad parent. I don’t know.

Other things I wanted to note before I forgot:

I do not get all mushy gushy about a lot of things- even my baby. However, while I’m doing laundry or cleaning up the house, if I find one of his little booties randomly stuck in our laundry basket or on the floor, it can literally send me to tears. For some reason I see myself picking up this kid’s socks for the next 18 years and the fact that they are so tiny and adorably cute right now just melts me.

I am eating an insane amount of “oats” to increase my milk supply and I think it’s working. Oatmeal, oatmeal cookies (they count!)…cereal with oats. I’m starting to become addicted I think. They’re tasty and filling and good for you. And I’m noticing that there are more little yellow-capped bottles of my breastmilk in the fridge which may be a result of the oat-eating or it could be a result of…me attempting to chill out about pumping all the time. I have stopped looking at the clock and started just doing it when I can and when I feel I should. I also have given the little guy some formula in between when I don’t feel like wrangling with him while I try to warm a bottle. Formula will not kill the boy, and he’s still getting breastmilk. I have to constantly tell myself to relax about it. I was giving myself anxiety and starting to resent the boy as I sat and sulked in my corner pumping every 2-3 hours. Now I feel better as long as I keep my tendency to freakout in check.

I  am now “saving” outfits. This means, if I feel like I look good in something, I will wear it out of the house for an hour or two, then immediately come home, take it off, hang it up and put on crap clothes again because there are so few things that make me feel presentable….and if I don’t take it off it will likely become covered in breast milk or poop.

We have been successfully putting Simon down earlier in the evenings in his own bed and it’s working! (Now I’ve jinxed it and it won’t work..watch) Bath, bottle, bed.

However, though he is clean this morning I smelled something…cheesy….on the boy. I thought it could be his neck folds- the poor kid gets milk in his chins and it starts to stink…but I cleaned them with a washcloth and still kept smelling stinky cheese when I held him. A few hours later while he fell asleep in my arms and his tiny mouth dropped open into a perfect little “Oh” I took a deep breath in and realized ….it’s the poor bugger’s breath that stinks! Haha! Not only that but when I put him down to sleep, and went to change my clothes, I also realized that I had dried spit up between my boobs and THAT was also what was smelling. The combination….gross and adorable.

The baby books say that he should be “cooing” and “ooohh”ing and “aahhh”ing by now but mostly all Simon does is grunt. Like a piglet. He grunts when he does everything- it’s pretty funny. He also squeaks (as noted from previous entry/video).

Last night was kind of trying because I was up from 4am to about 6:30am consoling the poor boy who just had the farts- nothing else…just the farts. It pains me to see how hard it is for him to pass gas. Honestly it sounds so painful- and LOUD! So here’s hoping I don’t forget to load him up with gas relief drops before we go to sleep tonight. I almost lost it last night!

Okay well that’s all I have time for now. I still have more straightening to do and the boy will stir shortly, as his incessant need for food will certainly wake him up in the next 15-20 minutes.

Life as a SAHM

I survived Days 1 and 2 of being home without Gabe. We miss Dad. Days were easier and definitely more fun. Gabe’s pretty irritable about having to be at work too. Thankfully he comes home at lunch and gets to see Simon and also helps me for 25 minutes so I can….usually just pump in peace.

The first day, Simon was ohsosweet and wonderful. Today– if he was awake, he was crying. Of course, that’s because his belly appears to hurt ALL THE TIME so I can hardly blame him. Also it seems like he’s slept a lot more today than he did yesterday so I don’t know what the deal is. At some point the boy has to level out and be just a TAD BIT more predictable, no?

Observation: I mentioned during pregnancy that as soon as you get “used to” one way of life/size pants/trimester/batch of pregnancy symptoms– they change. I was looking forward to this ending. Really, it just prepared me for life with the baby…since what he prefers changes ALL THE TIME.

Today was the first day that I took Simon out of the house by myself. I over-fed him (well I fed him enough to make him pass out) before leaving the house because I had my post-partum checkup today. 6 weeks. I hauled the baby in the baby carrier, and the diaper bag, and my ginormous purse. He slept. The. Whole. Time. And I was in there for well over an hour. I was shocked. Though there were some touchy moments when I was certain he was going to blow up while I was naked from the waist down and wrapped in an oversized paper towel, he stayed asleep. I was amazed. Of course he saved the crying for when we got home….then he peed on me. Again.

I have to say that he’s turning into quite the porker. The doctor and nurses said, “Oh he’s big…” and I said, “yup.”

Good news: somehow I weigh only 10 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant. Now, if you look at my body you would think 25. At least. That’s because I now have MomBody. I would look awesome in some MomJeans. (Don’t pass up that link- it is hilarious.) Everything has turned to mush and redistributed itself into strange areas. So even though I’m happy with the numbers…I’m not so sure how to fix this…especially when

WHERE THE HELL DID TIME GO?! I mean I’ve been living life in 2 hour increments with the milking-myself and all but jeesh who would’ve thought that I would keep myself busy just with regular chores in a day without ever leaving the house?!

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And when he’s not screaming he looks uber cute. (Taken yesterday when mood was better..)

Now I must go because he’s starting to make those grunting noises again.

P.S. I heart swings, the mom-rocking substitute.