You know you’ve become a Mom when:

  • You can’t find your lip gloss, or your chapstick, so you use the tube of Lansinoh in your purse on your chapped lips.
  • You have suddenly acquired 2+ more bags than you can easily carry to and from the car, and you only have a vague idea what is in them..but if you DON’T have them on you, you will surely remember later when you need something that is in them.
  • You are shedding at a rate that frightens you, and you start pouffing (that’s a word) your hair up in the hopes no one else will notice you’re going bald.
  • You subconsciously have trained yourself to suck in your stomach in front of every mirror, and only catch a real glimpse of your postpartum belly when walking in front of store front windows and think, “Dammit- I knew it was worse than I thought!”
  • Your bathrobe didn’t shrink, your “booty cheeks” are hanging lower than before.
  • Suddenly you have more wearable pajamas than work clothes.
  • Throwing on a pair of earrings or a different necklace is your way of getting Gussied Up.
  • You think constantly of ways to make your bed even more comfortable, even though it could be made of nails and splinters and you would STILL fall asleep as soon as you crawl into it at TEN THIRTY every night.
  • At 10:00pm you’re trying to pry your nipple out of the baby’s mouth without waking him, and thinking, “I have thirty minutes after this to get things done…”
  • At 10:30pm you are cleaning the floor of the bathroom, which you only realized this evening while bathing your baby that you hadn’t cleaned properly since you were 34 weeks pregnant.
  • You think to yourself, “Wow it’s a lot easier to clean the floor of the bathroom when you’re not pregnant.”
  • You wish you had a cleaning lady, or a cleaning person who would just follow you around and clean up your messes– and also clean out your car. And maybe take it to get an oil change.
  • You count hours on your fingers thinking, “If I give him this much now, he’ll wake up in 10to11, 11to12, 12to1, 1to2, Four hours.”
  • You glare at anyone who gets to do anything enjoyable and is not bothered by the fact that the house is filthy and there are only two days until the holiday and wouldn’t it be nice to come home to a neat house?
  • You cuss under your breath at the dust bunnies that swirl around like tumbleweeds when you briskly walk around your house.
  • You wish you had carpet to hide said dust.
  • You check on the baby twice before going to bed- once to make sure he’s breathing and once just to admire how much he looks like a doll when he’s asleep.
  • You realize over dinner that you’re never going to have your brain back, that you will always be preoccupied with the last time or next time he’s going to eat, poop, get sick, cry, or sleep. And it’s so exhausting you decide to have a glass of wine.
  • The wine helps for about a half hour, and then you curse yourself for drinking the wine that will make 3:40am much harder to get out of bed.
  • You spend much of your waking hours looking at pictures and videos of your kid doing nothing remarkable other than being a baby, and it is the most entertaining thing you’ve encountered since the night you got pregnant.
  • When the house is quiet you’re not relaxed, you’re on high-alert for the next time you hear a noise.
  • You wish you had half of the adorable outfits your child has.
  • You have so much to look forward to that your heart swells up a hundred times a day thinking of all the holidays to come, and lunches to pack, and getting to know this person we made.

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my mom and dad

July 3, 1976- right?

July 3, 1976- right?

They met at Ohio State- and were set up on a “blind date” by their roommates- who were dating each other. They talk about being in college together- and how my mom ate pickles at the bar instead of drinking beer…to avoid unwanted calories.  My dad went on to Med School at OSU, and mom was going to move back home to get a teaching job. But at some point she asked my dad, “Aren’t you ever going to ask me to marry you?”

And (thankfully) he did.

They got married on July 3rd and honeymooned in Florida at Disney World. I’m sure they had no idea that their family would grow to include 4 kids…a couple of cats and a beautiful home. I think they always knew how lucky they were to have found each other.

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As their kid, I have to say that the best part of their relationship was always knowing that they loved each other first- and we came after that. We were a result of their love and their relationship, which they continue to nurture now- years and years later. It’s so nice to know that your parents are best friends, that they make each other laugh so hard that tears form in their eyes..

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..it’s a reassuring thing to know how much your parents love each other and how much fun they have together. It makes you believe in it and hold out for that kind of love with someone in your own life.

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So they are in Hilton Head right now- their favorite place to be…and I hope the weather is fabulous and they get lots of time to play tennis, walk, run, bike, eat, drink wine, and do all the things that they love to do with each other.  They deserve it.

I love you mom and dad- Happy Anniversary.

Here's to the happy couple!

Here's to the happy couple!