This can’t be.

But it is! I totally skipped George’s 3rd birthday. He’s now three and a half. HOLY CRAP I FEEL TERRIBLE. I actually logged into the blog to start reading Simon letters, because his birthday falls around that sleepy part of August right before school starts and we get wrapped up in all of the Back to School Nonsense and I realized.


Well shit.

I’ll try to catch you up on all things George, but buckle up buttercup, because a LOT has changed.

Dear George,

You are 3. You seem more like 4 or 5. You are constantly trying to keep up with big kids, whether it is the neighbors across the street or your brother, or just us as usual. This past weekend we were camping at Buck Creek State Park and we went on a hike. I think we yelled “Keep Up, George!” about 50 times during that walk. We are always yelling at you to keep up. At one point you had sat down in the middle of the gravel path when we were trying to get somewhere and your dad started to get frustrated, thinking you were about to throw a fit. But I could tell you were just looking for special rocks. I came over and helped you pick two good ones. I need to remember you are only three. But not for much longer, as you are now nearly four! Time flies, oh it does.
You still have the cutest way of saying things. You sort of talk like you’re for Boston or something. You say Muddah and Fadduh and Bruddah and you say “cah” for Car and it’s adorable. You LOVE to make people laugh, and you think the only way to do that is through potty talk and jokes. I feel like you hit this stage a little harder and sooner than Simon did. Obviously Simon thinks your potty talk is funny, so he is no help in getting you to stop it. We roll our eyes. We do that alot.

You still don’t eat very much in the way of vegetables or fruits, though I was told you ate watermelon the other day which surprised me. You prefer cheese and hotdogs, yogurt and noodles, and chicken nuggets. You like your food processed and having barely any taste at all.  You do like ketchup, and I have been told that some circles view that as vegetable matter, so I guess I should count it too. You eat mini muffins almost every day for breakfast. You get into the fridge and pantry cupboard to get yourself snacks and drinks all the time. I wish your older brother would take such initiative. He still waits for us to serve him. In the meantime our 3 year old is on the kitchen floor pouring himself an apple juice.

Every night we lay with you in your bed until you fall asleep and 9 out of 10 nights you end up in our bed. Usually this happens between 4 and 5:30am. Sometimes you tell me you are thirsty and I have to get up and go back down to your room to get your cup of water. Sometimes you crawl into our bed and grab my face and whisper “I just missed you, mommy” and then you snuggle in close.

You are my little shadow, and I love it but also it can get overwhelming when you won’t accept anyone else’s help. You will shriek and yell when something doesn’t go your way. Though you are quick to anger over somethings, you are a surprisingly good sharer and friend with kids on the playground and in social situations. There are some things that I worry about with Simon that I just don’t worry about with you. And vice versa. You are your own person. You have a spark in you that I recognize and love- you are so very special to me.

You will climb into my lap and look into my eyes and say “I am NOT your baby, mama.”

And I say “YES YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABY” and end in a ticklefest. You love to say and do ridiculous things that will get a reaction from someone to tickle or chase you. You are so fun. You are so lovely, you are the perfect final piece to our family.  You make me think about things in ways I haven’t before. I am not sure how to explain that, but I’ll workon coming up with a way.

For your birthday party, which was 8 months ago, we had a PJ mask themed small party at the library. We had cupcakes and decorations and balloons. You liked it but also completely melted down when we started to sing happy birthday. We caught that on video, it was a good one. Your birthday being near christmas is a tough one for me to remember everything that I need to do. I will work on that more for this year, I promise.

You are a constant celebration to me. You exclaim “Mom! You’re Back!” and “Mom! You’re home!” in a way that no one has before. You are always excited to see me, always always. When that stops, I know I will be sad. You and Simon fight over which of my hands you want to hold. It feels so good to be loved so much, but only because I know it is fleeting and soon Simon won’t want me to hold his hand. Soon you won’t either. And I won’t know which time is the last time you’ll grab it in public, but eventually that time will come.

I love you and your curls. I love you and your ears. I love you and your vampire teeth. I love your cackling laugh and silly jokes. I love that on our drive you were clapping along to the beat of a song you’d never heard before- perfectly. You are so special to me. I’m sorry I didn’t write you this letter sooner, but please know I love you with all of my big old heart.








Letter to the Boy, month 43?


Dear Big Boy,
Today was an odd Monday. Usually I work late but because of a meeting I had to go in early. You were so tired this morning. Your tiny face and what chub is left of your cheeks was all matted with red marks from sleeping on your blankie. The sun was shining bright even though it was a cold cold day today. I opened the drapes in your room and talked through your Peter Pan stuffed toy in order to get you to wake up. (You weren’t responding when I was talking as myself.)

You asked to wear your Party Clothes again, which basically meant a button down flannel shirt and jeans instead of the playclothes and sweatpants I usually dress you in to go to the sitter’s. I packed a homemade cookie in your lunch, which is an extra special treat since we never have cookies or sweets usually around the house.

Lately you’ve been so interested in helping me cook or bake. It’s so fun and I love that you get your stool out and take up all the room in the kitchen, asking me what’s next and if you can stir or dump it. I think your assistance MAY have caused my meatloaf to become more meat, less “loaf” but it was still delicious due to ALL the ketchup you added in. Thank you for that.

After a busy weekend of visiting other people’s houses- your friend Sion next door and Uncle Bert and Aunt Kristen, you decided that you didn’t want to live with us anymore. At bedtime you said you didn’t want to live here anymore “because it is too stinky.” I think that was just carried over from the fact that I sneaked your blankie into the laundry because it smelled so bad of pee that if anyone found it they would assume it’d been lining a kitty litter box. When you smelled the lavender scent of Tide, you gagged and yelled, “MY BLANKIE IS SO STINKY NOW! YOU WASHED IT!” For shame! How dare I?

You have a pimple on your nose and I can only assume it’s from either a) not letting me wash your blankie that you wrap around your face or b) that your dirty little fingers rub against it when you push your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

Tonight at bedtime, you threw a fit that was clearly a flag of pure exhaustion, over three days of no naps, constant fun. You did not want to take a bath, you wanted to play. Play. PLAY!!! And you cried and cried as I washed you up and put your pajamas on you. You cried and cried as I tucked you in and turned out the light and explained that we can’t tell stories on nights that you cry like that. And you stopped crying to apologize, which ALMOST makes me cave to tell you a story- until I brush my hands over your face and place with your hair and notice your eyes are so heavy and look rimmed in pink eye liner that it REALLY needs to be time for you to go to sleep.

I left your room feeling victorious, because you did not notice that you didn’t have your pacifier, and I thought maybe you would kick the habit in one night, just like that. As soon as I texted your grandpa that I thought I was winning the pacifier fight, you yelled for me to come upstairs. Upon entering your room you said, “I need my nuk no I WANT my nuk, just until I go to pweee-school” I said, “Oh, I thought you were being a big boy and didn’t need it anymore so I didn’t give it to you.” But I reluctantly handed it over and you said “thank you” three times. And you were passed out quickly thereafter.

You are such a big boy. You are so tall, wearing big kid clothes and adding words like “actually” into your sentences. It is bizarre to watch you draw letters and explain to me how to pronounce things. You rhyme words and ask questions that make me think about my answers. Being your mom is only hard because you make me think. Everything else about it is so tremendously easy.

In the car on the way to our friend Jack’s house we mentioned that Jack is going to have a baby brother soon, and that a baby is in Jack’s mommy’s tummy. For the umpteenth time, you said, “Someday I am going to have a baby sister.” I said, “Are you sure? Wouldn’t a baby brother be cool?” You said, “No, I want a sister like daddy.”

Gabe confessed that he preferred having a sister to having a brother. And I like having both equally, though I suppose it doesn’t count since I AM a sister. The whole thing about you wanting a sister so badly makes me ache and smile at the same time, with the same amount of force. It also makes me nervous in case you would end up with a brother someday. (I would be thrilled by it, but I’m not sure we could convince you to feel the same way.) At any rate, kiddo. We’re trying, I promise. I know how bad you want one.

Thank you for being the bright spot of everyday. I love you the best.

Letter to the boy, month 38

Sometimes I think about months, and how it’s only been 38 months since my kid has been around. And it’s only been 47 months since he was like….created, and then my mind freaks out and I’m like- TIME! I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU!


At any rate, the letter.

Dear Simon,

I’ve noted this to some other people but between September 4th and October 4th, 2012, you apparently aged 2 years or something. Though you JUST turned three, I mean, just a MINUTE ago (technically two months, but whatever) — you have changed in so many ways. It’s shocking. When babies are babies it all flies by so fast. I mean, you expect those changes to occur quickly- month 1 to month 3 it’s like WHOA! But once you hit age 2, parents tend to think- “Okay, he walks, talks, etc…..what else could we expect from him quickly?” Let’s just outline the few things that happened this past month:

  1. You decided to start wearing underpants and reliably- pee and poop on the potty. This happened over the course of about THREE DAYS. And it wasn’t three days of hell, three days of me following you around with a timer, cleaning up a ton of accidents, nothing like that. I swear that you just decided one day to do it, and you did. We had a little trouble with the #2’s, but that’s typical, and on vacation you grasped the concept after realizing that your cousin Wyatt put his poop in the potty (after TWICE attempting to empty poop into the potty from a pull-up or underpants- WHOOPS) but regardless, you got it, and now we’re down to pull-ups at bedtime and can I just tell you- this is one of those, “My kid is a genius” moments that parents get when their kids do something pretty commonplace. But life changes so dramatically when you no longer have to think of diapers. We officially moved the Diaper Genie out of your room. Your changing table is now just a dresser. You regularly go to the bathroom on your own, unattended. And this happened SO FAST. Rock on with your bad self, Simon.
  2. You pretty much cooled-it with the unbearable tantrums. I want to say that it has something to do with the way we have been parenting (and maybe it has) but I really do think that those tantrums had something to do with a developmental phase–and it ended after a few weeks. And now, we just….live. With very little fits being thrown right now (KNOCKING ON WOOD). You did it, mister! So proud!
  3. You started taking gymnastics and you LOVE it. I go out and warm up with you for about 10 minutes before I get to watch and snap iphone photos of you while you bounce on a trampoline and attempt to follow directions in the 3-4 year old class at Wendy’s Gymnastics. It is a great outlet for you and in just 3 short weeks I’ve noticed a tremendous difference in your understanding of how your body moves and taking directions. This is also a great way for you to experience being instructed to do something by someone other than a family member or babysitter. It makes me so proud, and what’s more important, is how you walk like Frankenstein out of the gym everyday, gazing at the “Good Job” stamps on your hands after having a great day at the gym. It’s fan-freaking-tastic and I am so glad we signed you up.
  4. You now are a bifocals wearer- and you spent the first three years of your life mostly blind, apparently. You weep at nap time and bed time when we tell you to take them off. “BUT I CAN”T SEEEEEE!” is how it normally goes. You will never know how much I feel like I’ve failed you by having absolutely no clue you were blind as a bat until your eyes were completely crossing when you watched Blue’s Clues in the mornings. Anyhow, you love your glasses. Your eyes don’t cross when your’e wearing them. And you seriously look like a little man- much much older with them on. People hardly believe that you are “only three” when I tell them. You just look like a little grown up.
  5. You’ve started the “why” phase- which is way more adorable when other parents are talking about it. The Why phase is great, in that it seems to have replaced the Negotiation Phase. Every day things previously were taking forever because I had to convince you to do them. But NOW – you’re okay with most things, so long as I tell you WHY we’re doing them….and why the sky is blue…and why we wear seatbelts, and why mommy works, and why….you get the picture.
  6. We’ve moved up your bedtime because you sometimes nap and sometimes don’t. When you do nap, you’re usually out for 2-4 hours, which makes us think you need naps. But you still don’t put up too much of a fight at bedtime. If it’s getting dark out, you know it’s about time. This is probably the only good thing (according to me) coming out of the whole winter-time, less daylight hours thing.
  7. You will only wear shirts with footballs on them, NUMBERS on them, or jerseys. You are going to be a football player for Halloween, even though you are a football player I don’t say “Put your shoes on” when we leave the house, I have to say “Put your cleats on”. I’ve returned to the house to grab your football helmet after leaving for work/sitter drop off before. You are addicted to the game.
  8. We signed you up for preschool for the summer, and assuming we get a call (we’re waitlisted) you will be going to “school” starting in the summer months. We still have to arrange for after school pickup and care, but how did this happen?! School?!
  9. I let you walk at the grocery store now, instead of getting in the cart. You can be a huge help actually. However, the panic that ensues when you go just out of my eyesight can seriously suck all the air out of me. But still, it’s a big change.

How did all of these things happen in just a month?! I find myself watching you and thinking, “What happened to that baby I knew? You know, the one with the rolls in his neck and the big chubby cheeks?” He’s been replaced with a lanky boy who asks a million questions, tells me he loves me and doles out hugs and kisses regularly. I find myself struggling to keep up with all of the changes, and in the same breath not wanting to miss out on one more thing- You’re only three for so long…you’re only going to let me cuddle you for so long…it’s just…hard and awesome and hard and amazing and….

Have I mentioned how much I just love being your mom? Daily I am impressed by you. Daily I’m reminding myself to tell you how proud I am, but also how proud you should be of yourself. Because when I tell you I want you to be a “big boy” – and I know you WANT to be a “big boy,” there is a part of me inside screaming, “not TOO fast…”

But it IS happening too fast, and that’s what life does. When I start to think about it too hard- remembering my own first memories of when I was just a tiny bit older than you…it’s like the wind is knocked out of me and I can’t breathe. This is life, we’re living it, making memories in our tiny house, with our Ohio autumnal weather and work days and runny noses and half-assed meals after work and the time just slips by without realizing it.

I hope you know how much I love you. And even if you don’t know now or within the next twenty years, I hope eventually you do. Keep on doing all the great things you’re doing. I’ll be just fine. *sniff*




Year Three, month 36 letter

Dear Simon,

You are Three. 3! You are still sweet as pie and 100% boy. Your personality is still curious and excited and happy most of the time. You are in love with Peter Pan, and your imagination is so vivid that it makes some (weirdo lame-o) people uncomfortable. But it makes your dad and I feel AWESOME. Because having a vivid imagination is awesome, and you are the coolest kid we’ve ever met.

Your obsession with Peter Pan has led to us over-borrowing just about every version of the Peter Pan movie that exists from several libraries. You imagine you are Peter, then you’re John, then you’re Hook- all in the span of four minutes. Sometimes even mid-sword fight you will change your mind between being Hook or Pan. When dropping you off at the sitter a few weeks ago, you were playing with some big-kid toys- a robot transformer thing and a teenage mutant ninja turtle. You told me the TMNT was Wendy, and the robot was Peter. You flew them around the room as I backed quietly out of the house. Another result of your Pan-obsession is your constant awareness of your shadow. In fact, one day I heard you say “Ouch!” in the other room. When I asked what happened, you said, “I hurt my shadow.” It made me chuckle.

You still talk about your “spunka”- something else imaginary we haven’t figured out yet. You say, “I almost tah-got (forgot) my spunka.” So I just hand you an imaginary thing and you take it from me and go about your daily business.

You are noticing that letters create words, and fully recognize your name, and like to talk about our full names. Only when I say my full name, which ends with your first name, you like to finish it off with your full name. It’s pretty funny. At some point I’ll get to the Social Security office and change it so we won’t have that confusion. Someday.

I’m always worried recently about whether or not you’re playing outside enough, or getting enough sleep. I worry whether you’re eating enough good food (you’re not) and whether you are being engaged with during the day while I’m at work. I think of all the kids I see each day and how I interact with them, and wonder if I am better to them than I am to you. By the time I get home I am rushing to feed you and your dad. Then we’re rushing to get you to bed at a decent hour (rarely happens). And then again in the morning it’s rush rush rush everywhere. I keep thinking about how you’d be reading if I stayed home. We’d drill on phonics and talk about the words you want to be able to read. We’d do all these things….but then on my days off they get filled up with errands and chores and all the things I”d hoped to do seem impossible by 3:30 when I’m begging you to please take a nap. Please.

Everybody just really enjoys having you around. You’re pleasant and kind and polite. You’ve thrown some fits lately but I think it’s just a phase of development you’re going through. You clearly know that your pouty lip evokes a reaction out of us.

Diaper change refusal leads to time out on his birthday.

In the picture above, we’d asked to please change your diaper, so all of your 3rd birthday morning pictures wouldn’t be you in a saggy wet overnight diaper on a scooter. Daddy asked you, “Do you want to go to time out on your birthday?” You stuck out your lip, walked to time out and grabbed your calculator on the way saying, “I’ll have a time out on my birthday.” Sadface.

You also say and do very sweet things. You tell me you love me “SO MUCH.” And you tell me about your dreams in the morning. You dream about “spring” and “kites” and “football and baseball”.

This last year has been a blur of delight as I watched you go from toddler to little boy. You are wearing 4T clothes now, though you’re getting so skinny the waist is a little big in all the pants you wear if I buy them long enough. You are so innocent still, and I see the evil of other little snots seeping into you as you pay more attention to the television at the sitter’s house and idolize her third grader son who likes guns and shoot ’em up games that are too mature (in my opinion) to be watched by anyone under 16. Sigh.

I guess what I’m realizing is my grip and control over everything has to loosen, and boy is that hard. It’s getting harder to convince you to do things. I can’t change your mind as easily, and not everything is fixed with a song (though many things still are). I know it’s going to get harder and easier in every respect, but I hope you can retain some of that sweet goodness for another year or so, because I just love it about you. Your please and thank you’s, your interest in the things I am doing- your love of books and stories- I want it all to stay around for a bit longer please. This age you’re at is challenging and wonderful.

You are my favorite part of my life, dear boy. I hope year three proves as fabulous as its predecessors. I love you so much.


Toddler For Sale: and Letter to the Boy

Toddler for Sale! Toddler for Sale! Good condition, small patch of excema on face and behind knees, Aveeno lotion helps clear it up. Only needs a haircut every 4 weeks or so. Not toilet trained. Generally agreeable so long as you’re doing things his way. $20,000/ OBO.

I jest.

Dear sweet adorable child of mine:

A-hem. We have had a whirlwind of fun and excitement this last month. Three Christmas celebrations, a New Years’ Eve celebration, too many toys games and puzzles to count. You have been spoiled all along, we know that much. But sometime over the last month, you’ve become spoiled rotten. I’d like to blame the new television, or maybe all the chaos of being out of a routine. But realistically it’s probably just a normal stage in your development. Or at least, that’s what “the Googles” are telling me.

Though we purchased a very nice big boy potty for you, you are terrified of it. We moved the other potty downstairs into the living room. You’ve sat on it for a total of 2 hours over the last few days, and absolutely nothing has happened. I have an unopened bag of Christmas m&m’s just waiting as a reward for you to put SOMETHING in the potty (pee OR poop). But, instead  you just take the bowl out of it and place it on your head as a hat. Or you close the potty and use it as a step stool for you to jump off of.

Since acquiring the new television, you try to manipulate the images on the screen like you would an iPad or iPhone. Damn Steve Jobs. Now anything with any sort of screen will forever be etched with sticky toddler finger marks. As a result of the new television, you are on a Caillou binge. You love Caillou. I don’t mind him much. He’s four. He does things with his family. He whines a bit, but he’s four. Whatever. Caillou has a pet cat named Gilbert, who you call Yogurt. That’s pretty hilarious.

A tantrum followed us trying to pry your firetruck out of your hands at bedtime.

You’ve taken to terrible AWFUL tantrums. It’s mind boggling to me. You become a complete maniac. I’m assured this is normal (by the interwebs) but it’s such a stark contrast to the rest of your personality thus far, that I sometimes think you’ve been possessed. Today while trying to change your diaper (you didn’t want to) I swear you were about to rip out my earring ghetto style. It’s almost frightening when you get that way. I’ve done all the things the websites and books tell parents to do when they have a tantruming toddler. Ignore, get down to their level. Hold them, talk softly and explain and acknowledge their feelings. And it’s getting to the point where I feel like I have to smack  you. It’s like watching a friend get drunk at a bar and they’re about to do something stupid and you just want to give them a friendly jolt back to reality. Thing is, I can’t even connect a “high five” correctly, so part of the reason you haven’t been on the receiving end of a swat on the butt is due to my own insecurity- I don’t believe I would be able to successfully connect my hand to your behind in a way that would make ANY difference at all. That, and I really don’t want to hit you or make you think hitting is OK. So whatever, for now I guess we’ll see how it all pans out. Supposedly this tantrum phase eventually goes away when you get your drivers’ license or something.

You just started singing lately, and dancing. The other day you  built a tower out of legos, and then began dancing with it like a prop. It was supposed to be a cane I guess? You love the Wee Sing in Sillyville DVD still, and the JingleHimers are one of your faves (see link if you’re interested).

You talk talk talk all the time, and I love it so much. You are growing up so fast, and I do enjoy almost every minute. But more often than not now, the glances your Daddy and I give each other are more like, “You SURE you want to have another one of these?” or “What the hell are we supposed to do with this?” So I’m hoping those glances go back to the “Look how sweet and wonderful he is” type.

And another thing: you’re starting to look a LOT more like your dad. Like, a lot. And when I peeked in on you NOT napping today, you looked exactly like this:

I told your daddy and he laughed. I did not find it so funny. I feel like I might need another baby just so I don’t get out numbered by crazies.

So shape up child. I love you the most, no matter what.



Letter to the boy, month 28

Dear Simon,

Oh, you are two. You are two in every sense of the word. You are independent. “Simon do it!” You are clingy, “Mommy hold-you!” You are irrational and you have taken to whining spells that do not end. I am struggling to figure out exactly how we’re going to keep you occupied this winter, what with no trips outside to the park. I know Daddy will take you out in the snow to play but I’m warning you now son, I hate snow. I hate being cold, and I will maybe MAYBE make one outdoor sledding outing this winter. I’m much happier eating bread and other such starches from under my blanket on the couch.

You are into a lot of things these days. You love to color with these fancy Dry Erase crayons we got and you love your Color Wonder markers. We now have TWO kid tables set up in our kitchen nook, where you can draw and color til your heart’s content– which is usually in 5-10 minute spurts throughout the day. We’ve still been heading to story time every Tuesday morning we can, and you LOVE to dance and sing. You’ve even managed to sit through some of the stories and actually pay attention. You are growing up. Your favorite songs are Walking, Walking, Drive the Firetruck and the Wheels on the Bus. You love to dance and your face lights up when I ask you to dance for me. You wiggle your shoulders and will sometimes roll around on the ground like some sort of hybrid Breakdance/Interpretive Dance routine. I love it all.

You have been playing with your tools a lot lately, taking out your firetruck toy and turning it over on its side and “fixing it” with your tools. You love trucks still, all kinds. You ask for your “Dump Dump” so we can dump one wooden block from one toy dump truck into another. We drive slowly around construction sites to check them out and observe the men working.

You say and do all sorts of funny things these days. My favorites of late include:

  • Telling me one morning that you’d like a “Different Mommy” I can’t remember why exactly, but you weren’t happy with me at the moment.
  • You told me the other day “Cool shades, mommy!” while I was in the car on an incredibly sunny day driving to the baby sitter’s house.
  • You are into looking “cool” 
  • We went to Walmart one day before Halloween to load up on cheap candy and lights for your wagon and trick or treat night. While there, we let you run around a bit to burn off energy because we figured, you wouldn’t be any worse behaved than 90% of the people in Walmart anyhow. You were actually really good (aside from nearly getting taken out by shopping carts while rounding corners). But my favorite moments can be witnessed on Youtube (Linked here ) where you stop what you’re doing mid-sentence to watch the crazy people at Walmart. It’s like you’re in a trance or something. I was cracking up.
Going out to eat is almost impossible these days. We’ve been really spoiled by your awesome restaurant behavior up until this point of your development. You despise being stuck in a high chair, yet won’t stay in a regular chair or booster seat for more than 5 minutes, if at all. It’s a little sad because we enjoyed going out. It almost seems like you’re better behaved in general when you’re with just me, or just your dad. But the three of us together, it’s pretty much un-fun. There’s a lot of whining and complaining involved, and then a lot of glares between your dad and I, wondering why we decided to leave the house in the first place.
However, I will have you know kiddo, that this is the fun stuff. I get it. You’re growing, you’re soaking up all kinds of information like a sponge (I won’t go into it in much detail, but at one point he uttered the words, “Oh Shit” while frustrated with a marker cap the other day.). You are at the spot between baby and kid, and it’s tough. There are moments when you say and do the sweetest things, and you just melt my heart with your niceness and sweetness: saying, ‘So cute!’ to babies we see, or yelling “Watch out guys!” while in a shopping cart and we’re maneuvering through the aisles at the grocery. I love interacting with you, and never, not for one second, do I ever wish this to go any faster: your growing up, or your difficult phases. I never want to forget these days, where a fireman hat regularly hangs on the hook next to our car keys, if it’s not on your head.
I live in each precious present moment I have with you because I know that in what will seem like a moment, you’ll be heading to Kindergarten or starting to drive a car.
Everything up until this moment has been a blur of absolute bliss with you. So I’ll take my blips that might include time outs or going to bed early or general grouchiness. I won’t dwell on them. I’ll just keep looking forward to each smile and look on your face when you witness something new or exciting to you. I love it all.
You are my very best friend and I’m so lucky you’re my kid.
All my heart,

Letter to the boy, 24 months/2 years.

1st birthday, 2010

Oh how things change in just one year.

2nd birthday, 2011


Dear Simon,
Little boy, we have had the greatest weekend/week.  It was our birthdays, and we got to celebrate in so many ways. My favorite was probably the morning that you woke up and I knew you were up because you were yelling “I love you!” over and over again from your crib in your room. It sounds like, “I yuh youuuuu!”  but it is oh so sweet. And then tonight, as I put you in bed, you looked at me and said, “Go to sleep! I yuh you mommy.” And let me tell you, it just melts. me.

You are such a cool kiddo. You are mostly quiet and reserved until you get comfortable with new people and situations. Your favorite thing to do is CLIMB or JUMP or RUN. You ask me if I’m “ready?” to go-go-go all the time. You love the park. You love the pool, you just love doing things, period. And I love doing them with you. Even though it is exhausting.

You are remembering things like crazy- we used to be able to pull things over on you and make you forget about them but now, you remember that there was a turtle up on the counter for a few days and now all of the sudden it’s gone. If you misplace something, and find it later, the next time you misplace something, you first look in the last spot where you found the other thing. It’s so neat to watch your little gears turn in your head while you’re thinking. And everything you successfully do is punctuated with a “Ta Da!” or “I did it!”

Your birthday party was a success, though probably a little “Redneck” since I just ordered pizzas and had a mini potluck at the park. It’s your favorite place to be. And to see your face when you got to the park on your bike and all your friends and family were there, it was just awesome. Grandma was there, Nonni and Papa, and lots of other new and old friends celebrated your big day with us. You got a TON of toys. Your favorites were your light up sneakers and your baskey-ball hoop. You also got a really super cool tent from Aunt Kristen and Uncle Bert. We had to move some furniture to the basement to make room for all your new stuff. You have just had a ball. You said, “Happy Day!” when you were opening your gifts. You were just tickled by all of it, and so was I.

Now that you’re two, we’re going to be moving you to a big boy bed soon, whenever we can get home to get it from Grandma and Grandpa’s house. You already got really cool sheets and even a bed tent for it. The next big step will be potty training, we talk about it a lot now, but you’re not quite ready for it, which is okay for now. I’m not pushing for it, but your dad is eager to get you started. If he’s on board for helping out then I’m not too worried about it. It’ll happen eventually.

Your favorite books these days are This is Soccer, The Poky Little Puppy, and Pete the Cat Rockin in his School Shoes. You got a lot of new books for your birthday so I’ll be glad when we can start mixing them up a bit. You’re all about firetrucks and tractors and sports. You are 100% boy except when you see something PRETTY or try to put on my underpants or jewelry.

You’re starting to be a little bit of a snuggler, which I love. And on top of that, you often want “mommy” which also makes me feel so good and loved. I just wish I were stronger and could hold you longer, or that you would stop growing because man oh man you’re getting heavy.

Tonight in the bathtub you showed me an “ouchie” and looked up at me and said, “Mommy kiss it?” Of course I did, but I think you were expecting it to stop hurting, and it didn’t. It still made me feel good to think that you thought it might help. You are so sweet.

With the sweetness there are tough parts of parenting a 2 year old. You’re just starting with the irrational fit throwing that makes no sense to me. In those moments I don’t think that even YOU know what it is that’s bothering you. I’ve found that the best thing for me to do is whisk you away to another room, area, etc. and get your mind off of whatever in that moment is pissing you off. Sometimes you continue to scream, and I explain that we don’t scream, we “use words” and of course you can’t hear me…because you’re screaming. Some people have low tolerance for this kind of BS fit throwing but I feel that more often than not I have a high threshold for your yelling bits. In public I feel that others can be exposed to the Joys of Parenting a Toddler since I have to hear the same thing all day long at my work. Suck it up people, this is a pub restaurant, not the Ritz Carlton. We’ll get through this and worse phases I’m sure. I will never love you less.

I still feel so lucky to have you in my life. Your dad and I both feel that we lucked out with such a great kid. Many other people seem to agree. You are a good egg, Simon. We’ll keep you. And you’re my forever baby, whether you like it or not. I will always be here if you need to bury your head in my shoulder when you’re sad, if you need your boo boo’s kissed, if you need to run off energy in the park, or if you want someone else to say “Ta Da!” when you’ve accomplished something little, or something great. You are all the best parts of life rolled into an adorable sticky mess of a boy. And thank you thank you thank you for blessing me with your presence. I am a better person for it.

ALL of my heart,