This is going to be disappointing

Well, I know I promised pictures of my belly at 20 weeks, but I’ve seriously misplaced my camera. I am in the process of packing my apartment up and somehow I have lost my camera in the fray. So no belly pics until I find it, sorry. I even look kind of cute today.

Also- we found out….IT’S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE is a boy. No questions. I was going to scan in a picture from the ultrasound and show you the goods that determined my man’s boy-ness, but alas, our scanner at work doesn’t properly scan ultrasound photos. I just spent 15 minutes trying to scan in a picture of my unborn child’s penis and can’t get it to show up electronically. But trust me- there is NO MISTAKE it is a boy. It was the first thing we saw: “man junk”.  Other things we saw were: a ginormous (measuring in teh 96.66 percentile) skull with a super smart working brain inside it, a beautiful heart with all chambers pumping away, a pretty liver and set of lungs that have yet to be tarnished by pollutants and alcohol. It was refreshing to see those things inside of me. Plus he has adorable little feet and hands. Oh and his lips and nose are so pretty. I know it’s difficult to imagine seeing all of this on a grainy ultrasound but trust me, he’s awesome.  The only thing I don’t like seeing is the spine and rib bones. They’re so tiny that he kind of looks like a fish and I don’t like the idea of having bones growing inside of me it’s weird. I’m REALLY glad he has them and all, I’d just prefer not to see them.

How do we feel about this boy news?! Excited! We have a kazillion boy names that we both like.  Almost everyone we know has boys so we’re also going to be getting enough hand me downs that I may never have to purchase clothing for the boy.

And it’s funny, all of the sudden G has noticed I am pregnant. Every so often he will point at my belly or smile at it now. I think that dragging him to the doctor allows him to see that I”m not just gaining ice-cream weight, but I’m actually growing a real person. It is his SON who is responsible for my pimply face and growing midsection. 🙂

So the doc said things were a-OK and wonderful. The only thing is we may have to go in for another ultrasound down the road to make sure the placenta is in the right spot. Right now he said it’s kind of low-lying, and if it doesn’t move we might have to do a c-section. This is scary, yes- but the thought of a c-section doesn’t terrify me in the same way that pushing a 8-10 pound baby through my vagina terrifies me. (My family makes big babies.)  All in all it just means I’ll get an extra glimpse of the bugger before he comes out which is FINE by me. 🙂

The first thing the boy got from his mom was a Tressel vest onesie and a hilarious book entitled Cowboy and Octopus. It was a fantastic weekend.



Today I have had a smallish crush on my bust. I mean, I put on a sports bra that I used to wear, you know, when I would work out or run, and it’s nearly too small. Which means, I have cleavage. Not kinda-cleavage that you push together yourself, but for real cleavage that exists on its own because your mammaries are being smushed into a too small sports bra. I keep looking down at them and smiling. I understand that this is happening because I’m gaining weight, and eventually these boobs will be little more than feed bags for Thumbkin. But for now, I like ’em.

Tomorrow marks 20 weeks. I will be posting a pic either tonight or tomorrow. And then Monday, well you know what Monday is….I can hardly wait.

I keep having boy thoughts and even had a boy dream, so now I’m torn. For the longest time I’ve felt like the baby was a girl. Now I don’t know. In two days I WILL know, which is so much easier. I am not a patient person by nature and I just really really really want to know.

Alright enough. I’m hungry again (go figure) and must decide what we’re eating for dinner (more like where).


So I made it through the presentation, and even got some great compliments afterwards. It seriously felt like someone lifted 2000 lbs off of my back the minute it was over.  Now- of course I have other things to worry about.

Like- my a$$hole landlords wanting me to pay them $690 for the 5 days in April I’ll be “living” in their apartment. I offered to pay them $161 for the pro-rated amount of time I’ll actually be living there.  Psssst….landlords, you can kiss my fat ass.  It’s not happening.  Now I don’t know if I’m going to even give them that much. So I started packing. Packing like an insane lunatic. But I’m ready to getthehellouttathere because it’s a hellhole anyways. And did I mention that we’re acquiring baby stuff?!

Did I mention that I find out what Thumbkin is on Monday?! I have this uneasy feeling that immediately, upon learning the boy-or-girl-news I will want to rush off somewhere and buy…something…anything. I don’t know. Probably first to Buckeye Corner to either get the Jim Tressel onesie or the OSU Cheerleading outfit. I mean, my doc’s office is in the SAME PLAZA as the Buckeye Corner, so that’s gotta mean something.

My friend Ria just found out she’s having a boy. And I had to laugh at her picture because WOWZA that is a boy.  I suppose that if you’re sitting on the camera it’s going to be very easy to determine. But it just made me wonder how Thumbkin is laying.  Next week the baby will be as “long as a banana” according to one web site I’ve visited…so G says we need a new name for Thumbkin. “Bananakin” just is too hard and sounds too close to Anakin.

So I don’t know. I’m just excited for the next two weeks. I look at next week’s schedule and think, “Holy shit on Wednesday I will know if I’m ever going to have to have the Period talk with my daughter, or if I’ll just buy condoms and place them strategically throughout the house when my baby boy grows into a teenager.” Whoa. Either way, the child- boy or girl, will likely not get away with ANYthing. G and I have already done it- guaranteed, and we probably still would be finding out more rotten things to do if we hadn’t gotten pregnant. We wrote the book on bein’ naughty so GOOD LUCK KIDDO! It won’t matter anyways, since Thumbkin will be incredibly busy becoming an extremely talented genius so G and I can quit working. He or she won’t have time to be naughty. Hahahah. I know, I hear your chuckles through the screen.

This week is going to FLY…

SO this is the big week of my presentation- a work presentation that is supposed to last an hour. I’m supposed to talk for an hour in front of a bunch of other librarians- most of them have probably been librarians since I graduated from high school. So basically I feel like I have a super-intimidating presentation to give this week. It is 39 slides long and I’m praying I can make it last an hour, OR that people will ask questions. It is very strange to see your own name inside a “schedule” for a conference. I think it implies you’re smarter than what you actually are. Anyways. That’s Wednesday. Tomorrow (Monday) I am off since I worked all weekend. And then Tuesday I’m working a half day and going home to celebrate my dad’s birthday with my family in Northeastern Ohio. Since the presentation takes place Wednesday in a town only 45 minutes from my parents’ place, I’m staying overnight. Then Thursday I work 12-9. Friday I work 9-6 and then Holy Shit I have a weekend off of work– AND MONDAY OFF OF WORK because

THAT”S FINDING OUT THE BABY SEX DAY.  Already. Half-way point. I have halfway cooked a baby come March 30th. That is pretty damned amazing if you ask me. I think they’re also going to count things like arms/legs, brain, other vital and important organs, etc. So I’m a little nervous to know that everything is in working order. After all, I didn’t give up my boozing and smoking for nothing> I hope it’s paying off and building workable baby features/parts.

Today we went to breakfast at our favorite little grandview diner called Paul’s. Normally I get the greasy fare- and today I opted for the fruit and granola plate, with a side of wheat toast and a small chocolate milk. G looked at me as I was ordering, like I was an insane maniac. When the waitress walked away, he said, “You’re just going to keep getting bigger, you might as well eat what you want.”

Well thank you, G– I was waiting for you to make me feel better and that was definitely the way to do it.

I ordered the fruit plate because I hadn’t really eaten anything that healthy in a while (besides the whole apple/banana thing) and thought I should. I also have been craving milk a lot which is super weird- because right before I got pregnant I was almost certain I was lactose intolerant.  Anyways, I grabbed the waittress when she brought us our drinks and added one solitary pancake onto my order for good measure.

I ate the entire pancake, most of the fruit, SOME of the yogurt and granola and a piece of the wheat toast. It was a lot of food.  Then at 3:30 all I could think about was a hamburger. For three hours I salivated over the thought of tomatoes, pickles, onion, lettuce and ketchup on top of an enormous beef patty. Not turkey, but beef. Steak fries on the side please.

So we got that for dinner and it was delicious. I even got a root beer to wash it down. As soon as I’d finished my last bite and the waiter took away my plate- I started getting crazy heart palpitations and thinking I might faint. It was quite scary. I signed the check and went outside, had G drive home. I don’t know if it was the caffeine from the root beer or the quick spike in my blood sugar or what- but after awhile I felt a bit better.

Ended the night with an ice cream cone.

So yea, i’m eating a ton. And people are making comments about me “getting bigger” and I want to tell them to F**K themselves…even though I know I’m supposed to be getting bigger and all I think about is food, it all makes sense. I just wish I could spend the next 4-5 months in a padded cell with my food cravings delivered to me so I could avoid the comments and not think about how much bigger I’m getting.

By the way, Thumbkin has a ton of stuff now. G’s mom bought him/her a swing AND a bouncy seat. AND G’s sister gave us the entire nursery set & bedding. So other than bottles and blankets, a couple of towels and safety pins (to wrap it in) I think the baby will be set.

Oh, and I forgot to mention a F**king $300 breast pump.

I spent about an hour online looking at breast pumps and videos about breast pumps. I spent a lot of that time wondering if my nipples were going to be that big eventually and also wondering if they will ever go back to the way they were before all of this. Something tells me NO.  I mean, I get it- they’re just milk glands. But there is something downright disturbing about latching on these suction cups twice a day AT WORK to milk yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to try my best to do it. I hope I do it well, too. And I’m reading tons about it. My goal is to feed the baby with the “Free milk” for 6 months. (Take a walk down the formula aisle at Giant Eagle, check out the price on that shit and tell me what you’d be doing if you were making a librarian’s salary.)  Still- the thought of milking myself (at WORK in a PUBLIC RESTROOM)  is strange. Go ahead and google breast pump videos, I dare you.

Alright enough of all that. I’ll leave you with an adorable picture of the nursery stuff G’s sister gave to us.