Working 9-5, er I mean 6, home by 6:30- but whatever.

I’ve talked about my work schedule before. I’m going to try not to complain here, and instead just make some general observations. 

So today was my first “day shift” of the week. And I just have to say that I really, really like coming home from work, talking with my husband, making dinner with my kid, eating dinner at the table, cleaning it up then bathing my son and putting him to bed. I wouldn’t even be commenting about it except that, on days that I work nights, that’s not how the evenings go. 

Now I like my mornings on the days that I work evenings. Especially now that Simon’s in preschool, I drop him off, head straight to the gym, work out, come home and fix my “lunch” at 10:30am, shower and get out the door to work by 11:45am. Then I work noon to 9pm, which is only terrible sometimes. Some nights I really feel awful because it’s SO late when I am leaving work I am just completely wiped out. But so far it’s not been too terribly bad. I’m tired and exhausted, sure- but I do cherish my mornings and the ability to work out. I just can’t do it in the evenings or else I can’t get to sleep at a decent hour. My endorphins keep me awake, I guess.

I just was thinking, after I put Simon to bed and came downstairs, that “This must be what most normal working families are like.” It’s a pretty satisfying feeling. I mean, I’m not too tired to pack lunches for the next day so I’m not rushing around in the morning. Or if I forgot to get snack for the preschool classroom, I could still make a late 9pm grocery store run instead of having to bake cupcakes at 10:30pm. 

I started thinking about how nice it will be WHEN I have a better schedule, like instead of IF, think When. It’s helping me with anxiety a little (I’m overwrought with the stress of figuring out childcare for this new kid). I keep telling myself it’s like The Secret- that crap Oprah was selling a while back- where if you just keep believing it, it will happen?

Yeah, something like that.

So at some point we’ll have a normal schedule and I’ll be able to pick up my kids every day from their after care or child care situation. We’ll also be able to easily afford childcare for both children (this is a tougher lie to tell myself) AT SOME POINT. 

I will learn how to plan meals better and grocery shop accordingly  (instead of accidentally putting moldy cheese on tacos — which is what happened tonight). We will stick to a budget and have enough money to eat. 

Things will work out AND I’ll have that satisfying feeling at the end of a day, where I finally sit down at 9pm and think, “Ah, that feels nice.”

Right? Right. 

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