I feel bad for my husband

Today work wasn’t so bad. Nothing earth shattering happened and most patron interactions went as planned, “Can you find me this book, I don’t know the title, but the author’s names sounds like this…” And I chirped away with them all, delighted to hand over whatever it was they were looking for.

But over the past few weeks, I’ve started to think I’m going crazy. My brain isn’t working right. I’m missing things- big time typos and where-did-I-put-that-THING-I-can’t-even-remember-the-name-of-it-DAMMIT! Once or twice I can handle, no big deal. But this is happening enough that I pondered whether or not I’d had some sort of mini-stroke. Or perhaps I was pregnant.

I am not pregnant.

No, I’m sure.

SO then I start thinking, maybe it’s my hormones, you know? Maybe I”m coming off the effects of having a fairly important part of my reproductive system REMOVED. Or, maybe I’m just frustrated with my job, yea that’s it. Maybe I need to watch what I eat. I definitely need to take vitamins. See where I’m going here? INSANE.

Tonight on my way home from work, I decided we are not officially “adults” because we don’t have a headboard on our bed. A headboard?! I don’t even want a headboard! It wouldn’t work in our bedroom. We have two oddly placed windows.

I came home and told Gabe: “I’m having an existential crisis.”

This is not something a husband wants to hear. Immediately he jumps to the defensive saying, “I’m sorry I know I’m a jerk and pretty annoying…”

“It’s not you. I’m irrationally angry and irritated over things that normally don’t bother me. It has nothing to do with you. I mean, yea you could help out more- but you’re not doing anything different that should piss me off more than normal. I think I’m just going crazy.”

Then I explained to him the headboard thing, just so he understood where my insanity was coming from.

He said he has no interest in a headboard because they normally come with a footbaord, and he hates footboards because he is too tall. This is logical.

He also said he wouldn’t mind a king-sized bed, but they’re kind of a pain in the ass to move around, but usually THEY don’t come with footobards. Again, he is a rational person talking me off the cliff.

Then he says, “Maybe there’s some sort of radon poisoning in the basement of the library that causes ladies who work there to go insane and emotionally lose it.”

And THAT, my friends, was also a pretty logical explanation for a lot of things I’ve been thinking lately, even though it SORTA sounds like a weird comic book plot.

Since having this conversation, I’ve ironed the clean curtains and hung most of them, realizing that I’ve had one panel of ONE set of curtains hanging in the living room for over three years backwards AND upside down. I can’t fix it because the opposite side is completely faded because of the glaring sunlight that comes through that window. This pissed me off. Then I realized that we can’t find the most expensive toy Simon got for Christmas. I have absolutely no idea where it could be. I’ve given up looking. Since it never left the house, I can only assume that someone broke into our house, and stole a LeadPad2, (my mom pointed out my typo here- I’m leaving it because it proves my point) but bypassed the DLSR camera, MacBook Pro, Blu Ray player, iPad and flat screen television to steal a Leap Pad with a Jake and the Neverland Pirates Math game on it instead.

I’m hoping that maybe going to the gym (because I did it! Again!) will help me on this strange path of insanity. Gabe also suggested SADS (Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder), hormone issues from having my “ovary shooting eggs into nowhere”, and my job (though he likes to think it’s a radon or basement mold issue- I tend to disagree, but it is an exciting thought).

Hopefully SOMEthing will remedy my craziness because I’m starting to think my birth control pills were the equivalent of clozipane . Of course, that could just be me thinking too much into the whole Homeland thing, too.

Sigh. Breathe in, Breathe out.

I feel oddly better after that rant. That’s all for now.


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