Letter to the boy, month 40? I think?

Dear Simon,
Well, I’m late again- late on the letter. I even thought about not writing one, but then I was disappointed in myself for even thinking such things. You’ve said some hilarious things lately- the most recent fun comment was when you were on your “potty” in the kitchen wearing a Peter Pan hat, and daddy wearing his Captain Hook hat- and you said, “I gotta go potty so I don’t pee on Neverland!” You are still very much into the Peter Pan stuff- and the Mary Poppins stuff.

You’ve also started “shooting” at me, when I’m a “mean monster” or a “bear”. I’m not entirely sure where you picked up this business. We don’t really have any guns, but you will turn your golf club/chimney sweep brush into a weapon and pretend to shoot me. The first few times you did this it was a little alarming to me. You haven’t really watched any shows at our house with guns in them, and we don’t really have gun toys around. I guess I thought we could avoid it somehow. It also happened right as a horrible shooting happened in a school in Connecticut, and everyone I know is taking some sort of stance on gun rights/control/advocacy-I-don’t-even-know-what-to-call-it. Anyhow, for the record, I don’t like guns. I REALLY don’t like real ones, but I’m not a fan of fake ones either. So if you could kindly move past this phase, I’d appreciate it. I’m trying not to make a big deal out of it, because it probably is just a phase you’re going through. But I don’t like how guns just seem to be a part of our culture that (to me) is unnecessary.

A lot of really sad things have been happening around us lately. It feels like every other day I’m getting some tidbit of bad news that makes me think- okay 2012, enough. Let’s move onto something better. People getting sick, losing loved ones, the shooting, it’s all just bad news anymore. I’ve made a concentrated effort to not get pulled into any of it too far, but sometimes it’s hard. I’ve got my own sad feelings that creep up, and then I feel selfish for feeling them at all when compared to the hurt others must feel right now. I know this is too heavy for you to understand right now. I guess what I”m trying to say is- I believe you have no idea that any of this is happening. I think that you are unaware of all the sadness around us, and for that I am grateful. Your innocence is still in tact for another year I hope. And your presence in my life is a source of goodness and light I can focus on when I do start to feel that dark sadness creeping in. Thank you for that!

We’ve done so many fun things already in December- I feel like we’ve managed to cram as much Christmas Cheer as possible into this month. I’ve crafted and shopped and baked. I’ve included you in as much of those things as possible. We’ve seen the Zoo lights, the Museum, the Commons, Santa, and went to Gingerbread Day at the library. It’s all be such fun with you this year, as you ask a million questions and seem to be very excited about the season in general.

This coming Friday we leave to go do Christmas with your Nonni and Papa, and then with Grandma and Grandpa after that. I’m anxious to see our family and squeeze all of them as hard as I can. I’m excited to have a seat in the chair beside the fireplace at Grandma’s and snuggle my nephew and niece and drink coffee with my mom and my sister in our bathrobes and socks.

I love you so much little boy. Thank you.
XO
Mommy

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