I apologize for the delay in posting this note to you. To be honest, I’ve been wrapped up in lots of details about wedding planning that you wouldn’t be particularly interested in. Perhaps you would be interested in knowing that we didn’t get married until you were nearly three years old– I guess it just depends on when you’re reading this. In addition to wedding planning as being an excuse, I have to admit that watching you has gotten a little more challenging in a lot of ways– and easier in others. I find myself still mentally trying to remember things that you say and do…more often than ever. You say and do the most ridiculous things.
The most recent and challenging thing of late has been your temper. Oh my, you have a lot of repressed rage. The other night I had to hide my face because I was laughing so hard I was crying over the fit you were throwing. You see, I can’t even tell you WHAT you were so angry about. I can, however, tell you that when you go into these rage filled fits, your body doesn’t know what to do with it all. You lash out physically. The closest thing I can compare it to is when Phoebe “runs like a kid” on the (now cancelled) television show Friends. Your arms swing in every direction and you run back and forth through the house like a maniac. You throw open the cupboard doors in the kitchen and lately have tried hiding your head in the refrigerator or microwave (neither of which are safe choices, and both land you in Time Out). If we ask you quietly to “calm down” you will scream at us, “NO MOMMY! I DON’T WANT TO CALM DOWN I’M CRYING!” and continue to wail. At times you will run to a mirror to watch yourself in agony. You will throw whatever is closest to you or attempt to hit what/whoever is closest to you. There is no talking you off the ledge. Snot will fly out of your face from orifices that don’t even make sense to me. Sometimes you get this weird raspy possessed voice. You will tell me to “BACK OFF!” It is quite strange and a departure from your normal day to day pleasantry.
We’re going on day two of you landing yourself in bed an hour early due to these fits of rage. It is not fun, but part of me thinks it’s due to us all being down and out with a nasty cold. Who knows?
We have put up a bed tent in your room and you seem to love it. I crawl in there with you at night and we read books together, like we always have. But now after I turn out the lights you ask me to “tell me a story”. You want me to lay with you and tell you a story, where the main character’s name is Simon and is preferably a firefighter or police officer. Sometimes I can come up with a forest animal story or something like that. But I’m starting to run out of material and at times i wonder if I’m not ripping off stories that I actually read at work in other authors’ picture books. I’m pretty sure you won’t turn me in for copyright infringement, so that should be okay.
For your Half-Birthday (which is also your Uncle Eric’s birthday, so it’s easy to remember) we got a tiny piece of cake and sang Happy birthday to Uncle Eric and let you eat it while we video-chatted with him, Uncle Randall and Landry. You love Landry and say, “Oh, she’s so cute” when you see pictures or video of her.
We have a lot of exciting things coming up that I can’t wait to happen. The month of March will most certainly be a blur of excitement with Uncle Bert and Aunt Kristen moving back to town, Aunt Kimmy’s baby shower and our wedding. I am excited to pick out a little outfit for you to wear. You will look adorable no matter what, of that I am certain.
The winter has been so mild that we have had ample opportunities to go to the park and burn off energy. Today was one of those days- where you and I, wearing just light jackets, not parkas- spent a few hours at the park and then walked to the coffee shop this morning. At the park you made me “eggs” (mulch) and slid down the slide a million times, watching the “big kids” and saying, “Hey Big Kid, can you move please?” while they ignored you entirely.
You still love playing pretend anything. These days you alternate between construction worker, police officer, space man, astronaut and firefighter. For each of these things you demand you wear a hat of some sort. Watching you play pretend is probably my favorite thing (next to cuddling you in your bed tent) these days. You love your monkey (named George) and you still love reading books. Lately we’ve been reading Duck on a Bike, The I Love You Book, and Tuck Me In almost every night.
Sometimes I think of what your world will be like if we add another baby to the mix. Right now you get so much undivided attention, I’m afraid your head might spin right off your shoulders if we introduced another little bugger into the family. But with that same thought, I watch you cuddle your own baby doll, tell him Good Night, Sleep Tight, and give him kisses. You are a very kind little boy, and I think you would grow to understand it all.
I feel so lucky to have so much time with just you, my one kid- and I hope you remember these times, even though it’s unlikely. I want you to remember that sometimes we just go places the two of us and talk about things like owls and the moon and eat things like chocolate chip cookies and oranges at 10:00am. I love every moment that I get to spend with you, whether you are throwing a fit or giving me a “real kiss”.
You are still the best thing that’s happened to me, and my Prince Charming– even though the other day you told me you were a Princess, and I was the King. Whatever works for you, little boy. You take my breath away.
All my heart,