feeling ugly–

I’ve realized recently that not only do we have to take a kajillion photos of the baby to get 1 decent smile or good one- but we also have to take a similar buttload of photos in order to get a decent picture of ME. Decent picture of me AND the baby = 1 kajillion + 1 buttload.

The last time we took pictures of me and the baby, I noticed that my face looked different- like I still had pregnancy NOSE and I started to fret that my nose is just growing to be enormous and it’s just old age and I will forever be this big-nosed freak.

I mentioned this to Gabe by saying, “I think my nose is bigger since before I was pregnant. Do you? Do you think my nose looks different?”

Without turning from his swivel computer chair in the basement, he continues on with his world-of-warcrafting and says,

“I don’t know. I never measured your nose.”

Awesome.

But anyways- I am now satisfied with my nose size for now after this last batch of photos from Halloween. Now I’m just convinced I shouldn’t ever leave the house without lipstick and I need for my hair to do ….something different than what it’s doing now, which is FALLING OUT AT A CRAZY FAST PACE.

Does any of this matter? Yes and no. Yes because I want to feel like an attractive human being again someday, and I’m heading that direction I think. Seriously- I do. No, it doesn’t matter because no one’s really looking at me so much as looking at the baby which is fine….I would rather receive compliments on the baby anyways.

And don’t tell me to stop being all public about the self-loathing. It’s my blog, I can do what I want. Today- it’s complain about things that don’t matter. Tomorrow it might be different. 🙂

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4 thoughts on “feeling ugly–

  1. My hair just stopped falling out. I felt like I was going to be completely bald. I even cut my hair off to stop the shedding. Hair, hair everywhere.

  2. Hair falling out does stop. I remember thinking I was going bald after you were born. I look at those pictures of you and think “How Beautiful my baby looks holding her baby”. All of my friends say you look soooo happy!! xoxo Venting is GOOD though.

  3. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t hate their nose, lol. Personally, I’d trade with you any day! Yours is cute and straight, and mine is big and noticeably crooked. Also I found a new freckle today under my nose and it totally looks like a booger…so now it looks like I have a permanent booger on my face.

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