Facebook status updates

I am constantly coming up with different Facebook statuses (is that plural for status?) that I would like to post but can’t or won’t due to all the people I work with being on there….and other people who I don’ t feel like sharing with. Since I’m not entirely sure who reads this, I don’t feel as bad sharing, so here goes. (I guess I can claim ignorance if I offend anyone on here.)

Here are some status updates I’d like to post recently

Mandy is crammed into pre-pregnancy jeans

Mandy knows the muffin man, he’s moved from Drury Lane to her waistline.

Mandy never would’ve believed what her breastfeeding nipples would look like or FEEL LIKE  if someone would’ve told her beforehand.

Mandy never imagined she would be topless in her boss’ office.

Mandy is glad she occasionally flashed her friends/went skinny dipping so she has Before pictures.

Mandy believes her baby is much happier being breastfed than bottle-fed, but has no idea how much he’s eating and it makes her crazy

Mandy is thinking about investing in a scale- but wants to make sure the one she buys says the right weight before making that investment.

Mandy discovered the threshold for alcohol in breastmilk and has timing glasses of wine around feedings down to a science. (Thank you milk testing strips!)

Mandy is way too scared of additional babies….among other things….to think about being intimate with her partner..ever….again.

Mandy is still the same person she was before, but forgot for a few weeks.

Mandy now has a new best friend.

Mandy wonders if people who have a lot of kids desire a lot of friends so they just make them.

Mandy loves driving in the car alone, listening to music.

Mandy will sometimes take her time when running errands and Gabe is home with the baby.

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