Well, our six weeks of Gabe’s paternity leave come to a close on Tuesday, when he goes back to work and I’m left on my own at home alone with the baby. I’m terrified. Gabe’s just been so great, we’ve been tag-teaming this parenting thing and it’s worked really well. Neither of us have hit the end of our rope without the other one there to take over. I’m nervous about it but also curious as to how it will be. All day. Home. With the baby. We’ll see. I also have two big things on the agenda for the next four weeks that I’m home with Simon. Important thing #1: find/figure out childcare and #2: Start exercising, even if it’s just doing lunges/squats while holding the little guy (he likes to bounce) or go on walks around the neighborhood. I’m still wearing maternity clothes and I can’t stand it. I’m trying to be realistic about the body changes and everything but I don’t want to go out and buy bigger clothes, because I don’t really have the extra money to do that AND because I don’t want to have them around for me to feel comfortable in.
I can’t believe he’ll be six weeks old on Tuesday. Seriously, it’s crazy how fast this time has gone. I’ve tried to “make memories” like Pollyanna says – remembering how tiny his little body is and watching his facial expressions change as he sleeps. Even when I’m rocking him at 3am in his room I think about how fast the next few years will fly by and it helps me to remember the rocking moments in the dark morning hours.
Here are some recent pictures to tide you all over:
Dear Simon (now also known as Stink Butt, My Turkey, Stinky Cheese Man, or Lil Sleeper),
Oh you’re getting so big! 10 pounds 12 ounces and 22 inches long. I can’t believe how much bigger you seem to me already and we’re just getting started with the whole “growth” thing. Along with your growth spurts recently you’ve started to do some interesting things- like scream for no apparent reason at all until one of us bounces you. Your dad thinks you’re getting spoiled from everyone wanting to hold you, but I don’t know if I believe babies your age CAN be spoiled at this point. You are still scratching the hell out of your face when you get mad. That, combined with the acne and your red face from being fussy- you sometimes look like you just got out of a bar fight. But I still think you’re the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.
Sometimes when I change your diaper upstairs in your room I think I’ve caught you smiling at me from behind that NUK of yours’. Those brief moments when I can tell you’re starting to connect the dots- that I’m mom and your dad is your dad and you like us…those are the moments that make your heart melt. We take pictures of you constantly, and I’m going to have to delete a bunch of stuff off my computer in order to have enough room for the coming months/billions of pictures we’ll be taking of you.
You have a cute little mullet, and everyone wonders what color your hair is going to be. Right now it sometimes looks reddish and sometimes blond, depending on the light. I have no preference (really I don’t) but eventually we will have to cut off the mullet. Your dad wants us to cut a rat tail…um no dice.
You seem to despise getting in and out of your carseat, though once you’re in it you are pretty content, which made for a pretty easy trip to South Carolina. You met some of your cousins down there and they were just so in love with you already…well everyone except your cousin Wyatt, who was just the tiniest bit jealous whenever his Nonni or Mama was holding you. I’m sure he’ll get over it and soon you guys will be good friends.
I love your big blue eyes and the way you look at me more and more each day. I feel like you really listen to me and pay attention more- which makes being your mom so much more fun. Your smile just slays me and your dad. We can’t get enough of it.
You still seem to like the bath- and you have officially grown out of newborn diapers. The size 1 ones are a tiny bit big but they don’t cut off the circulation to your legs like the newborn ones were starting to do. And though I love how tiny and adorable newborns are- I’m excited that you’re growing into all of the outfits we have for you to wear. Sometimes I dress you up and I can tell you’re staring at me wondering “What the hell is this woman doing to me!?” But it’s just so fun to see what is going to fit you next. It makes me wish we had more places to go and people to see when we put new clothes on you.
You do NOT like having your boogers sucked out of your nose. I wish we didn’t have to do it, but you caught the sniffles down in South Carolina from your cousins. And the look on your face when we have to suck your snot out with the plastic bulb-thingy is just awful. You look at us like we are absolutely insane and torturing you. The shrieks that come out of you when we perform the booger-sucking are so sad and pathetic. I try to explain to you that you’ll feel better once the nose is cleared up but you don’t listen. You just scream.
You also do NOT like having your legs bundled up. You really enjoy being swaddled on top- having your arms wrapped up tight makes you sleep longer and not wake up with every startling noise. But if we try to swaddle your legs you just grunt and kick and grunt and kick until you’ve undone yourself. I have no idea how you got yourself out of this swaddling sack (seen below) but you did it…
I’m nervous that your dad is going back to work this week. I know he’s really going to be missing you. But he usually comes home for lunch so he’ll be able to see you for a bit which will be nice. Though I’m really sad and scared that he’s going back to work and it’s just going to be you and me– I am also excited to see how we do together on our own.
So for the record, you’re still adorable to us, you’re doing awesome things like staying awake longer during the day and smiling and recognizing us when we talk to you. We love you more every day.