Here we are. There is a carseat base in the back of my car. There’s a working swing put together in the basement. The blankets, sheets, and newborn outfits are all washed and folded. There’s enough diapers that I don’t want to buy more until we use some up to make room for more. All that’s left to do is clean. And really- there’s not much of that left to do either.
I had a doctor’s appointment today in which the doctor looked at me in a surprised manner and said, “Why, his head’s RIGHT THERE.”
Well I HOPE SO. (Where else would it be?!)
He then said, “Are you feeling a lot of pressure?”
I refrained from saying, “Um it feels like I’ve got 10 lb. barbells chained from my vulva,” and instead I said, “Why yes. Pressure, yes.” (BTW I love the word vulva. It reminds me of cars and plant parts.)
He asks me (again- he asks every time) how big I was as a baby. Again, I told him (like a broken record), “I was 8.8 but my brothers and sister were 9 and 10.5 pounds each…”
FINALLY I think he heard me. He said, “Let’s try to have an 8 pound baby.” I said I’d do my best…and then he said, “Let’s try to have this baby in the next two weeks.”
I’m not getting my hopes up. But this comment alone makes me realize that soon, SOON I will not be pregnant anymore. I will instead have a baby. My baby, our baby, our boy to hold and kiss and sniff his head….(insert more loving adorable mom thoughts)
…and I will not be pregnant anymore. I will probably also be covered in vomit and poop and exhausted. My nipples will be bleeding and sore and I will have hormonal nightmares to deal with afterwards. But I will not be pregnant. I will have fatigue-induced dementia but I will not be pregnant. Woo hoo!
My birthday is August 3rd….I wouldn’t mind sharing it. As I understand it once you have kids you don’t really get to celebrate holidays for yourself anymore anyways. Why not get a baby for your birthday!? I don’t know if it will happen like that but at least I have a STRONG indication that the doctor will not let me go past my due date. And that makes me so happy.
*EDIT* Other suitable days for baby to be born:
August 1st, my friend Ruthie’s birthday
August 4th, my “friends” Lisa Ayers and Barack Obama’s birthdays! Finally a real reason to make his middle name Hussein aside from just to piss off our parents!
August 11th, Gabe’s Grandmother’s birthday (I think)