Reverting back to toddler-dom

Last weekend my dear brother and sister-in-law moved to a city that is only an hour away from me, as opposed to two hours away. I was/am so happy. I went down there to help them move. How does a pregnant woman help people move? Specifically- how does a pregnant woman help people move up three flights of steps into a loft apartment during a rain/sleet/snow storm? She unpacks the kitchen. And that’s about all I did. I did help lift some things- and people said, “Don’t do that, you’re pregnant-” and I had to wonder, why can’t I lift things? If  I lift something to heavy, will the baby bungee jump through me? I mean, it’s still pretty tiny. I’ve done some stumbling, some jogging up a hill once, etc. and it didn’t fall out. Is being pregnant like having a hernia? I don’t know. Anyways, I unpacked the kitchen. Somehow, this exhausted me after 4 hours. We eventually went home. Then Sunday was a normal day- hung out with my sister and G for a bit- then the sister left and G went back to his video gaming, and I nodded in and out of sleep on the couch (as I so often do). Eventually I went up to bed.

THEN: I am dreaming. I am dreaming a very detailed dream about my friend Tim, who’s taking the bar exam this week. In my dream, he was running for President. Someone had plastered the walls of a public restroom with his Candidacy schwag- bumper stickers. I sit down on the toilet (in my dream) and read the stickers and start to pee. I then WAKE UP because I’m PEEING IN THE BED. OH. MY. GOD. What a freaking nightmare. I panic and gasp, making a sound loud enough to wake up G. “What?!” he says alarmed, “Are you late to work?” I stare at him and say, “No.” I can barely breathe. I know what I dreamt, I know I feel the sheets, this cannot be real.

But. It. Is.

I couldn’t believe it. I stripped out of my underpants disgusted with myself and made my way to the bathroom. I peed on the toilet (for real this time) and got into the shower. I am in the shower wondering how disgusted G is with me, knowing that I just pissed the bed and left him there laying next to it. I start to cry. I no longer want to be pregnant. When G slowly enters the bathroom to ask if I’m okay I tell him this. He says, “I don’t think that’s an option anymore.”

Happy Monday. What a way to wake up and start your week.

So I eventually call the doctor and they schedule an appointment to make sure I”m not leaking anything important (?!) or have some sort of crazy messed up infection with my bladder or something. 

Yesterday was the appointment. I got weighed. I’ve gained 7 pounds. I peed in the cup. Everything looks normal. Then I heard the baby’s heartbeat. And it’s super fast and sounds just fine. And it just sent me soaring into the rest of my day. It’s amazing how seeing or hearing this little dude/dudette can completely rearrange my attitude for the day. It’s like I’m constantly worried about it until then, and then after hearing/seeing it I’m okay for a few days…building up stress and worry until the next time I get to hear or see it….

So that’s it. Not huge progress or anything but definitely some weirdness to talk about and share. The doctor’s advice regarding pissing incident? Watch what you drink before bed (like a toddler does). Make sure you go to the bathroom before bed (like a toddler does).  And that was about it.


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