20 Questions

I haven’t done a survey in SUCH a long time. I used to be the survey queen- I love answering questions that don’t really matter. Anywho, I found this survey and thought I’d give it a whirl…

1. Show us the inside of something cute. I had a hard time with this one, being that it asks for the inside of something. My cute thing is my Babyhawk-and the other printed side of this particular Babyhawk has Ohio State logos on it.  It is awesome!!! I was wearing it OSU side outward, as it was a football game day. And the CUTER thing is what’s on the inside of it, though this is after I’ve taken the babyhawk off…

inside of the babyhawk, once i took it off.

2. What’s the last homecooking you had? Gabe made Smoked sausage with green peppers and onions and peirogies (sp?) on Monday when I got home from work…impressive I know.

3. What do you miss? (In no particular order and by no means all-encompassing because I also miss friends in Illinois, DC, Baltimore, and even people here in Cbus that I don’t see enough..)

 

these people

 

 

These two

 

this body (mine)

Patio Parties/Summer

This being my walk home.

 

4. What makes you laugh often? The internet. Most recently inappropriate articles with lots of cuss words in them, like this one.

5. What’s your favorite word? Inevitable.

6. What are you trying to quit? Carb Loading. But I’m not trying that hard.

7. What’s your favorite commercial right now? We don’t watch enough tv really to know. All I know is I’m THRILLED I won’t have to see another Yes or No on Issue 2 or 3 for a long long time.

8. Who’s style do you dig? I’m not really into other people’s “styles”. I don’t have a style of my own- just comfortable and boring. Or traditional, what have you. I’m also wearing pants that I got at Express in 1997. No, I’m not kidding.

9. Link to a blog you discovered recently. It Made My Day has been bringing me laughs since I found it a few weeks ago: http://itmademyday.com/

10. What’s the last craft you made? I might be retired from crafting seeing as I now have the baby and work and all…we’ll see.

11. The last happy mail you got? A care package from Gabe’s sister Gretchen- with a Halloween picture frame and halloween candy bag that both have Simon’s name on them!

12. Something you’ve gotten recently? Aside from groceries- not much! Oh I bought another nursing tanktop at Target. Woo hoo!

13. What are you looking forward to?

 

Thanksgiving

Christmas

14. Post a recent snapshot of yourself.

 

Chins!

 

15. Recent Movie you watched: The most recent movie we watched was Away We Go– which we both thought was pretty disappointing.

16. Something you’re working on right now. Some sort of schedule- for bills, for life.

17. If a movie were made of you, who would play you? Reese Witherspoon

18. What gives you goosebumps?

19. Share a new obsession My obsessions aren’t new. But I do have a pumpkin scone problem.

20. What’s the meaning of your life?

To help/serve people who aren’t as lucky as I am, to be a good person/mom/sister/daughter/friend/girlfriend. Maybe someday a good wife.

feeling ugly–

I’ve realized recently that not only do we have to take a kajillion photos of the baby to get 1 decent smile or good one- but we also have to take a similar buttload of photos in order to get a decent picture of ME. Decent picture of me AND the baby = 1 kajillion + 1 buttload.

The last time we took pictures of me and the baby, I noticed that my face looked different- like I still had pregnancy NOSE and I started to fret that my nose is just growing to be enormous and it’s just old age and I will forever be this big-nosed freak.

I mentioned this to Gabe by saying, “I think my nose is bigger since before I was pregnant. Do you? Do you think my nose looks different?”

Without turning from his swivel computer chair in the basement, he continues on with his world-of-warcrafting and says,

“I don’t know. I never measured your nose.”

Awesome.

But anyways- I am now satisfied with my nose size for now after this last batch of photos from Halloween. Now I’m just convinced I shouldn’t ever leave the house without lipstick and I need for my hair to do ….something different than what it’s doing now, which is FALLING OUT AT A CRAZY FAST PACE.

Does any of this matter? Yes and no. Yes because I want to feel like an attractive human being again someday, and I’m heading that direction I think. Seriously- I do. No, it doesn’t matter because no one’s really looking at me so much as looking at the baby which is fine….I would rather receive compliments on the baby anyways.

And don’t tell me to stop being all public about the self-loathing. It’s my blog, I can do what I want. Today- it’s complain about things that don’t matter. Tomorrow it might be different.

Happy Halloween!

Observation

I used to wear workout clothes in public while running errands or going out to breakfast because it would inspire me to workout in some fashion that day.

Now I go out in public wearing workout clothes because they have elastic waistbands.

I’m just sayin’.

It’s Saturday and rainy here in Cbus, and I’m wondering if we’ll still have trick-or-treaters on this Halloween night. Simon’s party was a success- and the sitter took some adorable pictures of him in his pumpkin outfit….even though he’s sleeping in most of them.

When I dropped him off yesterday, Ella said, “The baby’s here!” very excitedly- speaking of Simon. She was wearing a pumpkin dress and was happy they were both dressed like pumpkins. As I turned to leave I looked down to see a toddling elephant- Logan. I couldn’t even see his face, but his outfit was so cute! I can’t wait to see all the pictures Cheryl took.

Last night was pretty uneventful. I was in bed by 10:30 and up at 2, 4 and 7:45. I think I’m permanently taking Gabe off the hook of getting up with Simon because it wastes a bottle of breast milk and he (Gabe) is less than thrilled when he has to get out of bed. I mean, I feel the same way, but I hide it better because I’m a woman. Plus I have the portable feedbags so it’s probably best I get up with him anyways.  Last night I didn’t swaddle Simon for the first time. He likes to sleep with his arms above his head I realized. He pretty much slept the same as he always does. This is a good thing because we were running out of blankets big enough to swaddle him.

Today I need to go to the grocery and get candy. Uncle Brett might come by (I hope he does!) and hang out. I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately and need to hang out with a good friend or sibling. I’m starting to realize the toll that working full time and parenting takes on a relationship. The other night Gabe made mention about how he can’t wait to get up in the middle of the night, then go to work, then come home and do it all over again. It is exhausting, I agree. I guess part of me just realizes that this will eventually change. He’ll eventually sleep through the night. Eventually I won’t have to plan my life around lactation. Maybe eventually I’ll have time to go to the gym and get my body back into a shape that makes me feel like I’m attractive or something. I feel all sorts of things too but the love I feel for Simon and the excitement I get for just hanging out with him at the end of a work day or on the days I have off- it masks all the other feelings for a while.

Until I put on workout clothes to run errands and realize I’ve never worn these particular Nike pants or Jacket to the gym….

Cycles.

12 weeks/3 months: the letter

Dear Simon,

Oh sweetheart you are 12 weeks old and I can’t believe how big you have gotten. I’ve started going through old pictures from August, when we first brought you home, and I have a hard time remembering how tiny you were. I was so nervous for you then- just nervous and anxious and worried allthetime and though I tried to make myself remember your tiny-ness in the moments, of course I’ve nearly forgotten. Now you are bigger. And it will continue to be so…on and on and on…

You are currently in love with your right hand. You put your thumb under your pointer finger in a fist, and hold it out in front of you and stare at it. Sometimes we can convince you to open and close your fingers around something. But most of the time you sit with it straight out in front of you- like you’re holding an imaginary microphone, or are practicing to be an orator of some sort. When you’re hungry and stick your tongue in and out of your mouth, it looks like you’re eating an imaginary ice cream cone. It is pretty adorable.

You aren’t sleeping through the night but you aren’t that bad – you just like to eat once—or twice, a night. Sometimes I’m convinced you just grunt for me to come down and rock you back to sleep. You never stay awake for long- you love your sleep still and still take long naps during the day when you’re home.

You started at the sitter’s and we now have two people who watch you each week while I’m at work. Cheryl is the sitter who watches you 1-2 days a week near the library where I work. She runs her “playschool” much like a preschool, and though her little students are all pretty young, she still does a special “curriculum” for the kids she watches, and she includes you, which makes me feel so good. I love that she doesn’t turn on the television as a baby sitter much and that she has a plan for each day. Sometimes I get to come feed you on my lunch hour and it makes my days go faster when I get to see you on my break. You are always very relaxed and happy when I pick you up from there. However, I don’t think you nap much when you’re not at home. You go to sleep pretty early when I pick you up because I imagine you don’t sleep as soundly with all the chaos going on around you. Our house is pretty quiet at home so I’m sure it’s a lot different than being at home with just me and Dad. Either way, I really like Cheryl and am so glad she is helping us out. This Friday there is a Halloween Party at your school and I’m to send you with a costume or dress you up in it. I think Cheryl’s going to take pictures so I’ll be anxious to see all the adorable outfits.

The other sitter we have is in Grandview and she watches only two other little girls part time. You’re the only baby she’ll have so it makes me feel good to know there will be plenty of attention coming your way and lots of cuddles. Your dad picks you up from there and today so far she said you’ve been great. She said you took two short naps and loved to stare at her ceiling fan. I’m still getting the hang of the working-mom thing. I’m packing us up the night before and trying to remember everything. So far, so good.

But I miss you a lot when I’m at work. I hope that working will make me a better mom because I so look forward to spending time with you when I’m home. We’ve started reading more books and every day I’m finding more and more books that I can’t wait to bring home and read with you…once this flu season is over with. Until then we’ll just read the books we have at home.

You still love your bath time and I’m a little jealous that two nights a week your dad gets to have that time with you. We like to sing Five Little Ducks and Row Row Row your Boat and all the Beatles songs in the bathtub. You smile and kick-kick-kick in the bathtub. I let you stay in there until my hands get prune-like. I’m pretty sure you’d stay in it until the water got cold if I let you. We still have to separate your chin folds to clean out the milk that gets stuck in there. Your neck is really so tiny once we lift up all the skin from your cheeks and chin. I honestly think you’re the cutest baby ever.

Twelve weeks has gone by incredibly fast- especially when I compare it to how slow 12 weeks seemed to be when I was pregnant with you. It’s amazing how fast you grow, and I love watching it happen. I can’t wait to see you when I get home tonight and rub my nose in your neck and give you a hundred kisses, read you a book and then rock you to sleep. I love being your mom.

XO Mom

Things I like lately

The boy is officially 12 weeks and 1 day old- and he is still very adorable, large and in charge, as noted by previous pictures and entries. I have a letter to write to him, I know- but right now I have about 5 minutes and I wanted to write down the things that I’m really enjoying lately:

The drive to work or home from work- when I can turn the music up in my car loud.

V8 Fusion Light specifically the Strawberry Banana kind. Has a whole serving of vegetables in it- which is good for me seeing as I’m breastfeeding and all the nutrition I seem to get these days comes from the extras on a SubWay sub and my prenatal vitamins.  Because the only other thing I really eat is….

Oatmeal and Pumpkin Scones from Starbucks. OHMYGOD I just found the recipe for them online. Maybe I’ll make some of my own! (Doubtful since there are a ton of things I would like to bake or cook but haven’t been able to lately…) At least I know the recipe exists out there on the interwebs.

The idea of purchasing an iPod or IPhone. I have been contemplating this for about 3-4 months now. I still haven’t decided what I”m going to do. I’m leaning towards iPhone, only because of the camera in it and that my cell phone contract is up. And I pay just as much with Sprint as I would with an AT&T contract. I don’t know.  Typing all of that just stressed me out so I don’t know that I”ll ever actually purchase anything. I’ll probably just him and haw over the decision making process and by the time I really decide both forms of technology will be obsolete.

The idea of working out.

Sleep. Flannel Sheets. Pajamas.

Coffee

Revisiting with old friends. My friend Mandy was in town over the weekend from Chicago- as well as my friend Mikey from Akron. Seeing both of them reminded me how much I really enjoy reconnecting with people who’ve known me for a long long time. It feels so relaxing to have a conversation without worrying about what-they-think. It really made me wish they lived closer. I would love to be able to get some wisdom from Mike and his wife about parenting- and hanging with Mandy makes me wish for days where there isn’t a plan- just the idea of maybe some shopping, definitely some eating, and perhaps some finding-new-things.

Lansinoh

Doing librarian things at work… Last night I had to help a kid read a map of the southwestern US and find the Great Basin and Sierra Nevada among other things. It was harder than it should be. I think that means I’m not thinking often enough. I need to work on creating some challenges for myself at work. I know it will make the day pass faster too because the last two hours of my day are extremelySLLLLOOOOOWWWWWW, regardless of the workload at this point. I seriously glance at the clock every 5 minutes for the last two hours of work. I just get so excited to pick up the baby. It’s crazy.

Days when Gabe does the chores.

The leaves on the trees.

Thinking about a vacation someday.

Thinking about the holidays at home and seeing Gabe’s family.

Okay he’s starting to stir…more later.

 

B-B-B-B-B-Benny and the Jets

Should I be Elton John for Halloween???

Videos

Things I should remember

It occurred to me the other day that I need to work on Simon’s baby book. Although some of the things on this blog could probably go in a baby book, I do keep another one- one that has our wristbands from the hospital and his little eye goggles he had to wear..along with the details of my extended family and whatnot. While I was thinking about the baby book, I thought I should probably update on here some things I want to remember that somehow get lost in the midst of a week when remembering things that DON’T matter (like laundry and grocery lists) cloud my head…

(wow that was a long sentence)

Books we’ve read:

Guess how much I love you

On the Day you were Born

Sandra Boynton’s books: Pajama Time and The Going to Bed Book and The Belly Button book

Gallop

ABC An Amazing Alphabet Book!

I have to admit that I am terrified that Simon will not like books. It would figure, since Gabe and I both collect them and love them- that our son would naturally not like them. So far I’ve gotten him to listen to me read only a few- the ones listed above. But someday- I want to read Peter Pan with him and maybe the Harry Potter books- and definitely Toby Tyler (or Ten Weeks with the Circus). So I’m trying with all my librarian might to embed the early literacy skills in the boy. I wish I didn’t have to work during  the Read to your Baby Festival or else I would go to that, too!

Yesterday when I picked Simon up from the sitter’s she showed me how he really can sit up in the exer-saucer. It’s crazy how strong this child is. He seems to really want to get-up-and-go. When I let him stand up on my lap it’s almost like he gets frustrated that he can’t run. It’s nuts. So we brought up the exer-saucer from the basement and I let him try it out last night. He only lasts 5-15 minutes in it but at almost 12 weeks, I think that’s pretty good! Plus he hates tummy time so this is a good way for him to exercise his muscles without having to be on this tummy.

"Hm, this is cool."

I have kept each note from the sitter every day that he’s been with one. It’s funny. They list how much he ate and when and when he was changed and anything else that he did that was moderately worth writing down. On my late nights this week I called Gabe after he had picked him up to find out about his day and see how he was doing (Simon, of course- not Gabe). Gabe says, “He’s fine- you worry too much!” But I’m not worrying I tell him. I’m interested. Two totally different things. If the sitter wrote down the consistency of the boys’ $hits I would be excited for the details. I want to know what he’s doing. Did he seem easy going? Fussy? Funny? Did he do anything cool? I just wonder, that’s all.

I have no idea how much the boy weighs but he seems remarkably larger than other babies his age.  I wouldn’t say he’s gigantic, but then again, when I see him next to other infants I think- maybe he is. I love this fact, and I swear he’s already grown longer and most of the chubs is in his face- when he stretches out people mention how long he is. I think you can get a good idea in this picture:

Gabe's 6'3" or 6'4" or something

And that was from a few weeks ago.

He still loves his swing, but doesn’t need to be in it to nap. He falls asleep without a Nuk, his giraffe OR being swaddled at the sitter’s- which I think is really interesting. I like seeing how other people take care of him so I’m aware of what he’s capable of doing. Like last night, I laid him in bed (swaddled with his giraffe) awake. I said, “Good night, I love you,” and went downstairs. He slept until 2am. Pretty good right? Most of the week he slept until 3 or 4 but on days I don’t have to work the next day- he can get up at 2, I don’t care. I’m just impressed he can make himself fall asleep in his own crib. But as I was crawling into bed later on, I did tell Gabe- “I kind of miss cuddling with Simon in the mornings like I used to…” And he said, “Yea- but it probably wasn’t a good idea to keep doing that…”

So I guess our terrible horrible flu that forced us to put the baby in his own room earlier than I had planned, probably was a blessing in disguise.

Well I’m going to try to get some things done before he wakes up from his nap and Gabe gets home. We’re going to try to go to the pub and watch the game (yes- with the baby) after Gabe gets off work. Cut us some slack- it’s a restaurant too!

Ever have one of those days?

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel incredibly awkward all day long and can’t really explain why? Like your skin doesn’t fit right and everything you say comes out wrong and your ears turn red from being embarrassed for the weird $hit that comes out of your mouth? And then it just gets worse with each passing hour? And you keep thinking about all the stupid stuff you did, or how you rolled over on your ankle in the parking lot of CVS because you’re not used to wearing shoes that aren’t flip flops or crocs….

That’s the kind of day I had…an awkward feeling one. One where I get all paranoid about my job and start thinking of all the things I should/could/want to/will do in it. So bizarre.

Anyways- WE FOUND A SITTER!!!!

A friend of our neighbor who has watched Simon the last two days has offered to help us out on Wed. and Thurs. and she’s IN GRANDVIEW and I met her today and just really liked her alot. I felt really good about her. AND she will have Simon only one day a week- that’s like pure one-on-one sitter/baby time. The other day she has 2 other little ones who come and I met them and they are adorable and fun. I’m so relieved. And she fell right into our price range. So even though it will be a “weird” schedule for Si, I feel good about our two sitters. One close to home, one close to me at work- and both of them make me feel like they really could fall in love with Simon– which is what moms want. I want someone to fuss all over my kid. Sorry, I just do.

So that was a good start. What preceeded the good start was SLEEP. Simon woke up at 4:30am and 7:30am. He woke up so late (I get the second + feedings) that I didn’t have time to shower this morning. So tomorrow I work again- and I have a lot to do before getting out the door with both of us and that’s a little stressful- BUT…then I have two days off in a row. And friends are coming into town. And we’ll have successfully made it through our first week of full time working parenthood.

Which I think should call for some sort of celebration in the next few weeks. Anyone up for a happy hour??? hehehe